


Check Please...

by blagamuffin



Category: WWE, WWE Raw - Fandom
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Not Kayfabe Compliant, a date but not a date, but in my universe they still hangout when they're not trying to kill each other, definitely after being friends in the shield, my boys are fueding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-10-08 20:10:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17392919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blagamuffin/pseuds/blagamuffin
Summary: inspired by this tweet i had seen on tumblri just couldn't help myself but write something ambrollinsnothing smutty.. yet, if i get requests to continue the fic i just might





	1. Steak and Eggs

***

It was so nice to eat some real fucking food right now. Seth has always done his best in many aspects of his life; work out, training, rehab. Usually he does pretty well considering his diet. But, the second Dean brought up the chance to eat the best damn plate of steak and eggs he’s ever had, Seth got weak.

Dean and hadn’t been able to hang out for the longest time apart from actual work. It had been way too long since they just got to relax and just chill and enjoy each other’s company.

They had gotten to the restaurant fairly late. It was a quiet place with old wood paneling and some stereotypical Americana style but it wasn’t over the top. On the contrary, if you hadn’t been looking for this place you might have just passed it by.

They walk in wearing just some jeans and shirts, with Seth adding a warm hoodie and his glasses with his hair in a bun, while Dean wore his leather jacket and topped it off with a beanie. They were first lead to a bigger table for two closer to the front of the restaurant, but before Seth could take his seat his friend had stopped him.

“You got any place more private?” He asked the hostess.

The young woman was a little surprised, maybe even intimidated by his size but she quickly recovered and lead them to a smaller but more secluded booth at the back of the restaurant.

Once they took their seats and the hostess left them their menus, Dean pulled his beanie off and tucked it away in his jacket.

Seth still found himself expecting Dean’s old soft curls to tumble out of the woolen cap, but he had to admit the shorter hair did suit him too.

“This place doesn’t get too crowed.” Dean spoke without taking his eyes away from the menu. “But can’t be too careful… I mean just seemed like a nice night to not have to bother with too many people you know?” He asked rhetorically.

But Seth found himself nodding in agreement. As much as he loved the WWE Universe, there were just times he’d much rather just have a good quiet night with his friend.

Out of no where, Dean produced a lighter and lit the candle that sat between them on the table top. Seth looked at him curiously.

“It kinda gets dim here at the back.” He explained as if it were a normal occurrence. Maybe he'd brought a date here before. Seth wasn't sure why he'd thought of that and quickly shrugged it off.

Just then their waiter had quietly arrived to stand by their table. His pad open and ready with his pen.

“Good evening,” he spoke light and chipper. “I’m Kyle and I will be your server for tonight, what can i get you two fine gentlemen.”

Seth blushed from noticing the younger man’s emphasis on ‘fine’ when the he had spoke to them, but quickly coughed it off as he readied himself to order.

“No gentlemen here,” Dean had joked before he had taken his menu and Seth, from his hands, and gave them to the blonde waiter. “Both of us will be having the steak and eggs. I like mine rare with the eggs a little runny with a side of fries,” he ordered “My boy here like’s his medium with a pouched egg on top, also runny and a ceaser salad on the side. He’ll tell you no bacon coz he thinks he needs to lose a couple of pounds, but sneak some in there will you coz I think his six-pack really won’t suffer very much... and a couple of beers please”

Seth was really hoping the heat he felt on his face was just from the candle light, but he was pretty sure it was from Dean’s teasing. The older man always had a way of surprising him in ways still in exactly him.

The young waiter giggled while taking their menus, the young man seemed so flustered that it was Dean who had to stop him from turning right away to add their drink orders.

As the server made his way back to the kitchen Seth asked his friend, “What was that about?”

“What?”

“Didn’t have to order for me.”

“You would have read through the menu cover to cover if I hadn’t stopped you,” the blue-eyed man teased, “And like i said, the stake and eggs here are insane. You’ll love them.. plus i already know what you wanted anyway.”

Looking back, Seth did realized he would have just ended up ordering practically the exact same dish, sans the bacon, but he secretly thanked the other man for that.

They both talked while they waited for their food. They traded stories regarding their rehabilitation. Seth asked about the infection, a little shy not wanting to push too much. Dean answered eagerly in the only way he knows how when talking to people he trusts. They talked about family. Seth asked about Dean’s mom and sister. Dean asked how the wrestling school in Iowa was going, even teased flying over to teach the young bucks all about the creative use of barbwire and thumbtacks.

They were both laughing their asses off when Kyle had returned with their orders. The moment the aroma hit Seth’s nose, he knew Dean made good on his claim. This steak was going to be good. They had eaten enthusiastically, taking breaks between bites only to talk about how good the actual bite was. The steak was perfect. The pouched egg was good and runny and even the salad hadn’t tasted boring. The bacon may have added a bit there. At one point dean used his fork to grab himself a cherry tomato from Seth’s plate which made the Armenian pout. But Dean silently apologized by placing couple of his fries on his plate as a peace offering.

They had cleaned off both their plates. Clear indication of their approval fro the meal. As Seth was busy drinking his beer, and maybe subtly adjusting his belt, Dean had motioned for the check.

Kyle came around to their table and placed the check on Dean’s side of the table.

“How much was that?” Seth asked.

“Don’t sweat it.” Dean said plainly as he tucked his payment in the small booklet and gave it back to Kyle their server. “I owed you for lunch the other week.”

Seth quirked his eyebrow as he recapped their last week together only to reply “That was for Chepotle.”

“Still owe you,” Dean shrugged it off, clearly it being a non-issue for the older man. “Anyway, I’m gonna to bathroom for a second. Be right back.”

Seth only nodded, he could barely move from how full he had felt. He slumped into his seat and just breathed. It had been so long since he had a moment to just chill like this. To be back with Dean again too, Seth could see this is a better night than he’s had for the past few months.

Kyle had returned with the little booklet and placed it almost exactly where he had placed it on Dean’s side.

Seth motioned for the server to lean closer, “Hey, how much was mine?” He asked quietly.

“Oh no no no sweetie…” Kyle spoke with an even lighter tone. “You do not want to anger a top like that. Just let him take care of you.”

“Huh?” He asked confusedly.

“Your man.” He clarified. “There are not enough men like those and you got a good one; candle lit dinner, knows your order, pays for the meal. The man even gave you his fries.. I mean girl, anyone would be jealous of a daddy like that.”

“Wha-?” Seth’s eyes grew wide as the realization hit him harder spear to the gut. “You think- me and him.?!?” He stammered. “I mean.. no. No. No its not like that.”

“Hey babyboy you ready to go?” Dean chose that perfect time to come back to their table.

Kyle was beaming.

Seth only groaned.

Seth had stood up and nodded his head. The words from the server echoing in his head over and over again. He practically walked in a trance, with his friend following suit.

Once they got outside in the cold evening air, Seth felt sudden soft warm over and on top of his head.

Turning to his companion in surprised. He asked “What are you doing?”

“What?” Dean shrugged in confusion, his face now left unhidden by his beanie. “You looked cold. You looked like you needed it.” He answered.

Seth only stared at him realizing the thought; Dean always seemed to know what he needed and was there to provide it for him. Seth really didn't know how to process that realization right now, but whatever it was he felt Dean would be there still.

***


	2. Airplanes and Automobiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone asked me for a chapter 2... so i wrote a chapter 2
> 
> get ready for some very confused and conflicted Seth
> 
> not alot of Dean in this chapter but it's supposed to be hinting at something i hopefully will be able to get to soon
> 
> enjoy :)

It has been a couple of weeks since that night at the in Cincinnati, or the night Seth had begrudgingly started to refer to it as the night-he-fucked-up-and-realized-he-sort-of-has-deeper-feelings-for-his-bestfriend-Dean.

After that night, Seth’s head has been on constant alarm. He’d be fine most of the time. He’d just be minding about his day. Then it would hit him; a thought about Dean out of nowhere. He’d order breakfast, his eyes would stop at Dean’s favorite food order. He goes to the gym, and he’d remember to trying to practically drag the other man to even just try one day of crossfit. He’d get to work, and Dean would usually be the first and last person he’d be with, even if it involved them beating the holy hell out of each other.

He had welcomed the nearly nightly shows and busy travel schedule as it did get him to attempt to forget about his crazy thoughts. He tried to chalk it up to so many other things; He had been single for a while. He’s been lonely. He’s been having a dry spell lately. But none of those answered to why it had been Dean who his mind had latched on to.

Maybe he’d miss the man. The current storyline had them at odds with one another. They’ve had weeks, almost months of generated animosity. They hadn’t been able to really hang out together like the way they used to back in the day, not until that night.

Maybe that was it. It was just proximity. He’s lonely and desperate, and Dean is hot and nearby.

When did he start thinking of Dean as hot?

Seth tried to shake the thoughts out of his head again, because they were just that; thoughts. They were mean, treacherous, and dangerous thoughts.

Seth couldn’t wait to get home to Iowa. He wanted to be near his family. He wanted to be some place familiar. He wanted to be somewhere he could stop thinking of Dean. He just needed a break from it all.

His plane had finally landed in his home state. He had made his way off the plane and into the airport retrieving all of his baggage. As finished gathering all his things, Seth had taken his phone off airplane mode and was just about to message his mom and stepdad that he had safely landed.

Before he could do anything, his phone flooded with missed call alerts and texts from one particular person.

Dean.

_‘Seth you there’_

_‘you boarded yet?’_

_‘Shit you must have’_

_‘I’m sorry’_

_'safe flight'_

_‘Seth text me when you land please’_

_‘I really need to talk to you right now’_

_‘just call me when you can’_

Seth’s heart felt like it went from zero to sixty, and not for any good reasons. He remembered Dean’s flight to Vegas had left sometime after lunch the day before. The earliest flight Seth could get was sometime that evening, which meant he’d arrive home in the early morning. Seth tried to recall everything that happened before Dean’s flight. Nothing indicated him of anything to be worried about, but here was Dean trying to contact him for the past couple of hours.

Seth ducked into a secluded alcove in of the airport trying to find someplace quiet enough to have a conversation on the phone.

It took a couple of tries before Seth finally heard the other man pick up his phone.

“Hello?” that familiar gravelly voice answered.

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Seth asked in a panic.

“I’m ahh…” the other man sounded like he was a lost for words, which was odd for Seth to hear. Apart from that, Seth could hear the familiar sound of whooshing wind and rumbling in the back ground. Dean was driving.

“Dean what’s going on?” he asked worriedly.

“It’s nothing.” He answered a little too quickly.

“You tried to call me like 5 times and texted me 10.” Seth pointed out. “That doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“Feels like nothing now.” He voice going quiet.

“Dean…” he said as if it were a warning.

“How was your flight?”

“It was good.” He answered. “Now where are you?”

“Somewhere in Colorado.”

“Colorado, what the hell are you doing driving to Colorado?”

“I wasn’t driving to Colorado.” He tried to explain. “I just ended up getting here…”

“Dean…” Seth was really starting to worry now. “Please tell me. What’s going on?”

A moment or two of silence passed between them. The hectic sounds of the airport seemed to have melted in the background, in favor for the wind and car engine on the other line. But they were all nothing but noise to Seth who was quietly begging to hear his friend’s voice again.

“I’m like 9 hours away from Iowa.” Dean finally said.

This was familiar to Seth. It was just how Dean was. He’d say one thing when he meant another. Dean was like a favorite book to Seth. A complicated read, but Seth ended up feeling oddly proud slowly figuring the other man out little by little.

“You’re coming to Iowa?” he asked.

“I mean… is that ok?” he asked almost shyly.

Seth wish he could say he had to think about it. Only a couple of minutes ago he had breathed a sigh of relief for the weeks away from it all, away from the fighting, away from the politics, and even away from Dean. He had welcomed the break. He had wanted the space to think and resolve whatever he was going through.

But the second he heard Dean ask the question he could only give one answer.

“I’ll be here waiting.”

Seth thinks he heard a sigh of relief on the other line before they both had made their goodbye’s. Seth locked his phone and tucked it back into his hoodie. He slumped against the wall. The people in the airport whizzing by busy with their own lives. Seth just stood there not exactly sure what to expect but was sure about the following;

Dean needed him.

Seth was going to be there for him.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'd like to make a long series of this. a slow burn, friends to lovers sort of fic. but im not making promises... but just know.. i really wanna keep writing this


	3. Telling the Folks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean Ambrose is kind of Seth Rollin's thing... and Seth can't seem to stop thinking about him, or talking about him, or worrying about him. Seth is gonna bother people about it. hehe

Seth finally got to calling his mom and step dad. He had first tried to convince them to not bother picking him up, but they insisted to meeting him at the airport personally even though it was 3am. It took a couple of minutes waiting but the giant hugs Seth got once they arrived was so worth the wait. 

They talked excitedly during the car ride. They had asked about how things were in the company. They asked how everyone else was doing. They had even asked about Roman and his treatment. Seth’s parents had been nothing but supportive of him and his choices, and he knows how blessed he is to have that. His heart felt full whenever he sees them proud of him. As much as he loves the business, there was nothing like coming home for the holidays to be with his family. 

It wasn’t until they had actually gotten home when he had finally remembered about his phone call with Dean at the airport. Seth’s mom had mentioned that his room was good and ready for him and should at least take a nap before having late breakfast later. 

“Hey mom,” he stalled in the kitchen. His bags still in his hands. Though he had only called to her, he noticed her and his stepdad Hector had looked at him expectantly at the same time. He always thought that was cute. “Is the guest room ok?”

“Might need a bit of freshening up, but nothing major,” she explained and even looked at her husband for confirmation and he nodded accordingly. “Why, you expecting anyone?”

“Think Dean might be coming over.” He casually, as if the other man was basically driving 20 hours to just to get to his place. “Is that ok?”

“Dean? Of course. That’s perfectly fine. We love dean.” She said in such a motherly sweet tone with Hector nodding in agreement as he prepared coffee for the both of them. “But isn’t he spending time with his family in the holidays?”

“Don’t think so…” he voice kind of faded, sounding unsure.

Holly, as the excellent mom as she was, seemed to have noticed her son’s apprehension walked towards him to ask, “Is everything alright with Dean?” For split second Seth was almost ready to confess to the weeks of confusing feelings he had been having for his bestfriend. The story of their night in Cincinnati on the tip of his tongue. But with a sigh and a shrug he left the story untold and just answered. “I’m not sure, but I hope he is…” his mom nodded, but Seth new knew the answer didn’t really satisfy her but she didn’t press further.

“But he can stay in the guest room right?” Seth making sure. “Dd’s dumb boyfriend isn’t staying over is he?” he cocked his brow. 

Holly shook her head with a angry little frown. “No, Ryan is not staying with us. He and Dd had actually broken up.” She said the last two words in a hushed but still trite tone. 

“Well, I mean, they’ve broken up before.” Seth couldn’t help but pointed out. 

“Yes, well I’m pretty sure this one is final.” His mother still had a bit of anger in her voice, but in an oddly triumphant way, then she walked to the sink to clean her mug.

Seth, being an excellent son, also knew when to not pry when things seemed tense with his mom. He did the next best thing and looked to his dependable stepfather and silently mouthed the words ‘what happened?’. Hector, without missing a beat, answered by mouthing the word ‘cheater’, right before he took his last sip of coffee. His dark hands growing white with the force of his grip, a sign Seth knew it meant his stepdad was just as mad about the situation as his mom. 

He had only scowled at the revelation, but bit his tongue to ask anything more. He made his way to his room. His childhood bedroom that still housed so many of his toys and posters growing up. Everything kept as best as it could be over the years. The only new addition was the fancy mattress that made sleeping like a dream unto itself.  
Unfortunately, that dream seemed to have been out of reach for the young man. As he put his things away and made himself comfortable as possible, he realized he really couldn’t find the comfort need for the nap his mom had suggested. 

His mind had wandered back to Dean. This time not really about the confusion he had over the weeks, but more for the conversation they had just had. He wracked his brain trying to figure out what had prompted the other man to drive all this way out of the blue. Last they had seen each other Dean had actually looked excited to go back to Vegas. He was more than ready for the warm weather and the dessert and sand and the mountains. He said he was ready to be back in his element, and yet here he was driving a grueling 20 hours to snowy and cold Iowa for the holidays. 

‘What happened Dean?’ Seth silently asked to himself. 

He pushed himself onto his elbows before he reached for his bag. He may not be able to answer that question right now, but he knew someone who might have some idea. He dialed a familiar number into his phone and lay back down waiting for the phone on the other line to pick up.

“Gggrrhhh.. ello?” the other line had grumbled tiredly.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry Roman. I forgot how early it was.” Seth apologized the Samoan forgetting it was still pretty much too early in the morning for anyone else but his overthinking mind. 

“hmm no worry…” Roman replied sounding a little bit more coherent than he did a few seconds ago. “I should be up anyway-” he yawned. “-need to start the day.”  
“Hey, how are you man?” Seth asked with genuine concern.

“I’m good.” He replied, the ‘m’ I’m sounding a longer than it should, but again, Seth couldn’t fault the other man. “What’s up? You got home ok?” he asked the younger man.  
Seth smiled, knowing fully well how much the bigger man valued his sleep, but also how much he valued them being the oldest (by a couple of months) and therefore the ‘dad’ of the group.

“Just got home actually.” He answered with a smile. “Landed like an hour ago.”

“Glad your home. Bet Holly misses her little drama king.” Roman teased. 

Seth chuckled. He knew they would never let that down. “How about you man? How are you?”

Roman took a deep breath, and from what Seth could guess from the rustling of sheets, man on the phone must just be getting up form bed. “I’m ok, all things considered.”

“Treatment’s going well?” he asked, not really knowing the specifics but wanting to ask.

“It’s ok.” The other man replied. “I mean it some part suck. Like the hospitals and the needles here and there, but overall, it’s nothing too bad.”

“Good.. that’s good.” Seth replied not really knowing anything else.

“Seth, I’m glad you called and all but I got a feeling you’re not calling me this early in the morning just to have a chat.” Roman guessed. 

‘What is it with parents?’ Seth jokingly thought. Realizing how similar Roman and his mom had approached the situation with him. 

“Just wanted to ask you about something actually,” Seth fessed up. “Have you heard from Dean lately?”

“Hmm.. not as much as I’d like.” Roman joked. “Last I talked to him was yesterday before his flight. Sound pretty excited to get back home to the dessert and Mel.”

‘Oh, right Mel,’ Seth though feeling his insides deflate. Melanie was a girl Dean had met months ago back in Vegas. They had kept in touch over the months of travelling. Dean had even opened up about having her move into his place since her lease for the her own apartment was ending. He had never met the woman, but he had seen pictures of her. Just Dean’s type; blonde, perky, athletic. She seemed to make the other man happy, from what Seth could guess. 

“Yo Seth!” Roman called for the younger man’s attention. 

“Huh?” Seth replied intelligently. “I’m sorry what was that?” he asked.

“What happened man? You kinda just got quiet there and your nose started to hum in that way when you get kinda pissy over something.” He teased. 

“My nose does not hum.” Seth denied at the same time pinching the bridge of his nose to check if it really did indeed hum or not.

“Whatever you say man,” Roman laughed quietly. “So, what about Dean?”

“What about him?” the younger man asked in a slight panicked. 

“I don’t know man, you’re the one calling about him out of the blue.” Roman pointed out.

“Hmm yeah, It’s nothing really. I mean I don’t know exactly but-” Seth made a move to explain, but was doing his best try and not reveal too much of his feelings over the situation. “Dean’s coming over.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I talked to him once I landed and he told me he was like half way here already.”

“To Iowa?”

“Yeah”

“You know what happened?” Roman asked, his concern for their third partner thick in his voice.

“I don’t know yet. He wouldn’t say much.” Seth explained. “Was hoping he called you too or something.”

“No, nothing like that man.” Roman replied. Somewhere in the background one could hear the voice of a young girl calling for her dad. “Coming sweetie-“ Roman yelled out away from the phone’s receiver. “Listen Seth, Jojo’s up and I promised to make pancakes, but keep me up to speed about Dean ok?”

“Will do,” Seth replied, quite serious about the task.

“Oh and Seth?”

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas”

“Happy Holidays to you too Roman,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe i'm writing so much now... feeling inspired and finding the time... hopefully i can keep the momentum up
> 
> sidenote:  
> this is a fictional world where both Seth does not have a girlfriend and Dean does not have wife. never been the type to write about people real partners just not something i do. so in this universe pretty much alot of the things are the same Seth and Dean are wrestlers, they are friends, they are members of the shield with roman. but they don't have their real life romantic partners. 
> 
> btw i love renee young and will not tolerate any hate thrown at those women
> 
> fanfiction is for fun nothing more


	4. Special Hot Cocoa and Surprise Hugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally gets to Iowa. Seth's family welcome's him warmly. Some maybe a little too warmly. Seth is still super confused about his feelings, but is sure he wants to be there for Dean and wants Dean to be there too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be working... but I couldn't concentrate. fuck... i hope you guys like this.

Seth shot up sitting on his bed. How his feet dangled on the edge reminded him exactly where he was; in his too small childhood bed, in his childhood room, in his childhood home. He leaned back on his elbows breathing hard. His heart beating a little too fast in his chest. Not really knowing why. He lied back down and closed his eyes. He tried to reach back into his mind for what exactly he had dreamt of that made him go into a cold sweat in the middle of the Iowa winter.

_He was with Dean at that restaurant again. They had their meal and a couple of drinks. They had walked back to their hotel room opting to take the time to rest the night before driving all the way to the next state for the show. They made way to their shared room. They took off their jackets, then shirts, and then the rest of their clothing. It started with soft touches and a kiss at the nape of Seth’s neck. Broad warmth across his back made him hot all over. The shared touches turned to gropes, kisses on necks moved to lips. Their casual talk turned to moans it was right as Dean had pushed him back onto their hotel bed when he had been rudely awaken from his dream._

Another loud sound coming from the outside his room had finally made him get up and out of his bed. He walked down the hall and made his way towards the voices coming from their kitchen. He could hear his mom and his stepdad’s joint laughter, one always coming along with the other. His brother Brandon’s slight wheeze of a laugh, and his sister Dd’s light giggle. Laughter that seemed to only get louder after the a familiar rumble of a voice spoke animatedly something about ‘a wild elephant that seemed to have gotten lose in the middle of the Vegas strip.’ Seth couldn’t help but smile knowing the people he loved the most were happy and all in one spot.

He turned the corner to confirmed his suspicions. At the sink was his mom who was putting a stack of dishes in the sink. His stepdad at the stove was flipping his nth pancake. His brother Brandon was leaning against the counter top as he sipped his coffee. Dd was still seated at the dining room and was leaning a pretty close to the newly arrived Dean.

“Good morning sleeping beauty!” the more than a little road worn man greeted with a huge smile on his face. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than you I’m sure.” Seth teased as he made his way towards his best friend for a their usual friendly handshake, but Seth was a little surprised when the other man had actually stood up and opened his arms for to give a big hug.

Seth really shouldn’t be so surprised. For a man so private and guarded as Dean could be, he was always very tactile and touchy. What he didn’t always said in words he’d say with action; a hug for a warm hello, a playful smack on the ass for encouragement in the middle of a match, and maybe if you’re unlucky a hard punch when he didn’t particularly like you. Dean was a hugger, but something about this seemed a tiny bit off. Maybe it was how dean leaned his head a little more on his shoulder, or how his arms stayed around his waist longer than a couple of seconds, or maybe Seth was just overthinking again.

“You stink.” He teased the dirty blonde as he pulled back a tiny bit.

“Give me a break,” he said in mock defense. “I had to drive like 12 hours to get here.”

 _‘So why did you?’_ Seth was so tempted to ask but knew it was neither the time nor the place for it.

“Well you definitely smell like it.” Seth teased even further, not really knowing why but it seemed like teasing the other man this way seemed effective for Seth to forget exactly what he had been thinking about only a couple of minutes ago in bed. “Aren’t you dead tired by now? Take a shower and get some shut eye will ya.” He urged his friend to get some rest.

“Can’t. I’m still jacked up from all the Redbull I drank.” He said as he took another sip from his mug.

“And you’re drinking coffee?!” Seth exclaimed as he reached for his friend’s drink.

“Relax princess,” Dean said as he pulled the mug away from the brunette’s grabby hands. “It ain’t coffee… It’s actually your mom’s special cocoa.” The blonde smiled cheekily as he took another sip of it..

“Wait…” Seth paused and made a comically slow turn towards his mom with accusing eyes. “You’re special cocoa? The one you only make on Christmas morning?”

Holly only smiled and shrugged. “He looked like needed it.” She answered simply then went back to washing the dishes.

Seth goes back to looking at his best friend with utter disbelief.

Without missing a beat, Dean looked at Seth squarely in the eye and silently mouthed ‘your mom loves me’ then gave the him a smug smile.

The Armenian stood there utterly annoyed by the other man but the fact that his siblings were trying their best, and failing to suppress a laugh, was enough to make him break and chuckle himself.

He knew exactly how Dean was on a nearly daily basis at work, how could he ever have thought he’d be any different now. The blonde was full of charisma, all 6’4 of him. He could charm the pants off just about anyone. Seth smiled to himself, which quickly turned sour, how that little flutter under his ribs reminded him of how his dream at went.

Seth busied himself by grabbing a mug of coffee for himself, but only after he discreetly tried to check if his mom had made more cocoa, but was disappointed to realize that she was already cleaning up. She had only made cocoa for Dean. Seth didn’t know he could feel both jealous and inexplicably happy all that the same time.

“So, Dean,” Holly spoke as she put away the last of the dishes. “How long will you be staying with us?” she asked with complete sincerity in her voice.

Seth could tell she meant nothing bad about it, only to know how much she should adjust and prepare for their guest. But for a split second, Seth noticed an embarrassed look on his best friend’s face. Doubt anyone else could have noticed it, but Seth definitely did but again said nothing and kept his mouth busy by taking a sip of his coffee.

“Uhhhmm, well-” Dean seemed to stall, finding the right words “I’m not really sure actually… Family is not expecting me. Mom and Dad are enjoying themselves with their respective others… and my sister and her family is spending time with her in-laws in Jersey…” it was one of the rare occasions Seth saw the other man sort of lost for words.

Before he could save him, God bless his mother had done it first. “Well then, their lost…” she said a welcoming smile. “You’re welcomed here for as long as you want.” Then subconsciously turned to Hector who only nodded in silent agreement.

Seth looked around the room and saw his whole family more than willing, but actually happy to welcome his friend into their home. Brandon and Dd too, with the former muttering a ‘welcome to the chaos’ and the latter smiled a little too warmly with her hand brushing against the older man’s knee.

The Armenian didn’t really know how to process that, so he decided to chuck it off and grab his friend to get him to his guest room. “Come on Dean… before you pass out in my mother’s kitchen.” He teased, but seriously did pull him away from his sisters grabby hands.

The dirty blonde gave a yawn after finishing off the cocoa and motioning to go and rinse it himself, but was cut off by Dd who gently grabbed it and said that she could take care of it for him. It made Seth glare at her, before leading the other wrestler deeper into their home.

They first picked up Dean’s things, which was mainly his bag’s from before just by their front door. Seth took the one bag and Dean the other, as they walked through the house rather quickly as the younger of the two pointing where everything was.

They finally got to the guest bedroom where Seth left Dean with his things as he went to retrieve a couple of toiletries the assumed the man needed. He walked back to the guest room seeing the other man now sleepy eyed and sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Come on big guy,” he urged. “You should take a hot shower for a bit, it’ll make you feel better, it’ll help you take your beauty rest.”

“Think you’re mom’s cocoa already did that. What did she put in that thing, Ambien?” he joked, while trying and failing to stop another yawn.

“Nope, just lots of love… which could also be Ambien.” He joined in the teasing, before he grabbed the taller man by the hands and pulled him upright. “Now, come on. I’ll get the shower heated for you.”

Seth went to the guest bathroom and turned the shower on, adjusting the knobs to get the temperature just right for Dean. Once he got that and steam started to form on the mirror, Seth came back out.

The younger man stopped right outside the bathroom door. Whatever he was supposed to say now totally gone as he couldn’t stop but stare at the sight in front of him. While he was gone, Dean had gotten comfortable and took his boots, socks, shirt, and hoodie off. He was just about to take his signature tank off when he stopped to look at the other man curiously.

“What?” he asked, his voice gruffer from the exhaustion.

“Huh?” Seth snapped out of it. “Nothing man, just saying the shower is ready.” He felt like he gulped down his own tongue.

The older man seemed too tired to even notice anything weird about his friend. He only shrugged and continued to take his tank off.

Seth embarrassingly turned to look away, which absolutely made no sense to him why he felt the need to. This was Dean, a man he had been working with for almost a 10 years now. He’d even fought with and against the same man in the exact amount of undress he was in right now. When the hell did Seth develop an embarrassment over it?

Seth mentally asking questions he couldn’t answer, as he gathered together the toiletries he had gotten for the said man. Seth was just about to leave it right by the bathroom door and leave the other man in peace.

“Wait, Seth.” he called out to him.

Seth turned as he was ready to leave, his hand so close to reaching the doorknob. He stood there, a little to tensely, willing his body to function normally for God sake. He had no idea why he was so damn nervous to be alone in a bedroom with a half-naked Dean Ambrose. Reviewing the situation, it should have been painfully obvious why.

“I just… I wanna…” Dean started, but again seemed to have trouble finding the right words.

Seth would have understood the shyness with his family, but couldn’t place to why he seemed to act the same with him right now.

Dean walked closer, and dropped his voice to a low whisper as if he were about to tell the other man a secret. “I… I want to say thank you.. for this. I know it’s pretty weird.”

“You’re pretty weird.” Seth said almost reflexively out of nowhere, and regretted for a second.

It did make the older man smile, but Seth noticed it was not a real smile. It was a little sad, before recovering by replying “That I am… and thanks.. for understanding that. I know you must wanna ask me some things, and I wanna tell you somethings.. but.. not right now.”

“That’s ok.” Seth reassured. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

“But I want to,” the other man admitted in weak voice. “I want to.. just… you know..”

“Not now,” he nodded in understanding.

“Yeah,” he gave a tight, closed-lip smile.

“Like my mom said,” Seth replied. “You can stay here as long as you want.”

Dean smiled, a real one this time. It was small, but Seth knew it was real.

Dean looked like he was just about to thank him again, but Seth cut him off only to add “No, thanks needed man… I’m here for you.”

Dean smiled a little more now, before he again surprised the younger man with a hug. Seth felt Dean’s warm skin against his forearms. The other man’s bear chest a little stickily against the shirt print of his old Shawn Michael's t-shirt. Surprisingly of all, the taller man’s face lowered to lean down against Seth’s shoulder. His sleep heavy weight feeling somewhat comforting on the younger man.

Seth wrapped his arms around him back. Whatever Dean was going through, Seth was more than happy to be here for him for as long as he needed him to be.


	5. Breakfast Sandwiches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth goes to wake Dean up... but he's not there.

Vacations were for sleeping in. Was the first thought Seth had as he stretched his 6’1 body in his small childhood bed frame. It really should have been uncomfortable with his feet hanging off by the calves, but something so comforting being back home the way he has. Honestly, having been on the road for most of his adult life being in a bed too small for you was hardly the worst thing to happen to him.

He sinks a little deeper into his bed as he hummed happily. He looks across from his bed and saw his old wrestling action figures neatly standing on his desk. _‘Wonder of Dean ever had action figures growing up?’_ He imagined himself a mini Dean chubby cheeked and dimpled with a thick mop of auburn most probably moving about restlessly. He smiled warmly, before he realized that that was the first thought of the day for him; _Dean._

He sighed disappointedly at himself as he turned to bury his face into his pillow. Maybe he could suffocate himself to the point of normalcy. Was it normal for someone heart to melt thinking of their best friend’s adorable childhood-self running around playing with action figures? Seth had to admit kid Dean must have been pretty adorable.

He sank himself deeper into his pillow.

His alarm finally blasted, breaking the silence of his bedroom. He realized he must have forgotten to turn off all the alarms he used to have while working. Here he was so excited about sleeping in.

He turned off his alarm begrudgingly and pushed himself out of bed. After a couple of stretches and grunt or two through a hundred push ups to properly wake himself up. Seth made his way to the guest room to wake the very thought that made him want to stay in bed all day.

“Hey Dean, it’s morning.” The brunette called out comfortingly as he gave a few light knocks on the door.

After leaving the older man sleep in through the rest of the day yesterday, Seth was not interested in poking the bear as it were. He really couldn’t blame the other man for staying in. He had driven 20 hours across three states to get here. He had earned the extra sleep. But having slept through last night’s dinner, Seth was certain the other man would be starving by now.

“Dean?” When he hadn’t heard an answer from the other side, he finally opened the door as he warned “I’m coming inside.”

Seeing the state of the guest bed, he realized the warning was for nothing. The sheets had been neatly put back together looking hardly even slept in. Confused, Seth took the time to check the guest bathroom but was met with the same clean emptiness. If it weren’t for the bag just by the foot of the bed Seth would have been sure no one had even stayed here the night before.

A small spark of panic lit in his chest. Dean had always acted weird, weirder than most, and considering they both worked on professional wrestling, that was quite a feat for the man. But had had been acting weirder than usual since telling him he was coming to Iowa. Having always been pretty much guarded and impulsive, Seth was reminded by another characteristic he had loved about the man but loathed at his moment; unpredictable.

He made his way down to the kitchen, where he was welcomed by the sight of his mom just preparing to leave.

“Hey, where you headed?” he asked curiously.

“To the store,” she answered as she put on one of her gloves. “Having the extra mouth to feed and having Brandon a couple of days earlier than he had planned put a pretty good dent on the supplies.” She had explained. Knowing other mom’s, you’d expect her words to have sounded more like a complaint, but it never did. Even with problems, even with minor inconveniences like these Holly seemed to be happy to welcome the extra people to feed at home.

“Hehe sorry about that…” Seth still felt the need to apologize for it though.

“Nonsense, it’s great to have everyone here.” She walked to him, and placing her ungloved hand against his bearded cheek she added. “Including Dean, he’s more than welcomed here… I mean he’s practically family to you.” She then kissed her son on his cheek.

That panic that seemed to sparked in his chest felt like a full blown fire in him. Seth was momentarily worried his mom would see the blush creeping on his cheeks caused by her words. She didn’t mean it that way. At least Seth doesn’t seem to think so.

He coughs a little too conveniently and asked “By the way, about Dean. Have you seen him this morning?”

“Isn’t he in the guest room?” she asked as she stepped back to look up at her son.

“I checked.” He answered. “But he’s not there.” He added hearing the panic in his own voice.

“Well, I haven’t seen Dean all morning sweetie.” She replied as she put her other glove on and opened the kitchen door to leave.

Right on cue, the man in question practically sauntered through the threshold all smiles and with massive bags in each hand.

Seth’s panic seemed to have evaporated into thin air and was replaced by the slight wonder of how exactly a twitchy 32 year old man can ‘saunter’ so easily while carrying groceries.

“Oh, thank you beautiful.” Dean smiled brightly at Holly. “I’d would have gotten the door myself but as you can see-” he held the canvas bags up just before he made his way to the kitchen island to finally put them all down.

“What’s all this?” Holly asked as he closed the door to the cold midwestern morning.

“Breakfast stuff…” he answered with a shrugged.

Holly walked towards the kitchen island. Her face shifting from confusion to awe as she saw her houseguest take out everything he had just bought.

“Did you leave any for the store?” Seth teased, but was just as in awe with all his purchases.

“Haha, very funny.” Dean replied as he separated what he thought needed to go to the fridge, the pantry and left quite a few items out on the counter. “I woke up too early and come down here for a snack before going out for a run. I noticed you guys were going low on some stuff so thought I’d… restock supplies.”

“Oh Dean you really shouldn’t ha-” Holly spoke with such sweetness.

“Of course I should have. After that delicious brunch you gave me yesterday, it’s just right for me to return the favor.” He cut her off. “Plus, it’s the least I could do for taking in a stray like me.” Dean was joking.

Seth didn’t find it very funny, but before he could say something his mom was there for the perfect save.

Holly stood beside the giant of a man, making her 5’3 frame even more petite, held his face in between her small gloved hands and gave Dean’s chubby, dimpled cheeks a kiss on both sides. "Thank you sweetie," she gushed. 

Seth saw the small but genuine smile that spread across his friends face. In that moment, Seth couldn’t help but feel so thankful for his mom for being the absolute best with him.

“Don’t mention it.” He smiled then gently pushed her aside. “Now, I may not be as good as you are in the kitchen but I’d really like to make you and your family some breakfast.” Seth could see his mom more than ready to say no to having her guest make breakfast, but again Dean cut her off. “-insist. I mean it’s not gonna be anything fancy but I’d really want to return the favor.”

His mom was looking Dean straight into his blue eyes, and it was one of the very few times Seth saw his mom utterly charmed and convinced to let someone else take care of her family. This time Seth couldn’t help but be so utterly thankful for Dean for making his mom take care of herself for once.

“Don’t worry.” Dean added as Holly was about to leave the kitchen. Seth felt the sudden but very familiar hand on his shoulder. “Sethie’s here to give me a hand.”

The two men smile as the sweet woman went back most probably to her bedroom to get a couple more hours of sleep she definitely deserved. Once she was out of earshot, Seth finally broke his silence.

“How am I suddenly pulled into kitchen duty?” he asked jokingly as he made his way behind the counter and started helping the other man even without being told.

“Well that’s easy,” Dean answered as he moved to put away a couple of cans into the pantry on the other side of the kitchen. “You love me.”

Seth this time thankful for the fact that he had safely put down the tray of eggs before he heard what Dean had just said. He was also thankful his back was towards him and no way able to see the blush that he could feel rising to his cheeks.

‘Does he know? He can’t possibly know. DOES HE KNOW?!’ Seth’s mind was going all over the place. Deep down he knew the other man was just teasing. This was nothing new from what he had done over the years in gyms, backstage, in and out the ring. There was nothing different, but everything was different.

Seth was different. Seth felt different. Dean was making him feel different. Seth was starting to feel really stupid for feeling so different.

“Hey, did you hear what I said?” Dean called for his attention.

“Yeah man, I am. Just need some coffee.” Seth deflected.

“Well, if you say so man,” the other man did not pry. “Anyway, I found some avocado’s for you and that high protein bread you like, add some bacon and tomato in there. You’re gonna love it.”

“Sounds like I will,” Seth had to admit. Everything Dean just said sounded perfect.

Realizing that Dean not only bought his family groceries, promised to make breakfast for everyone, and saved his mom from another hectic morning in the Rollins family. He even bought him his favorite food. Dean actually remembered his favorite food. Dean always seemed to do things like these. Maybe never in his house during the holidays, but he’d always remembered his favorites and got them when he could and took care of people around him. Seth knew that.

Maybe, it wasn’t until now that Seth realized those things that Dean did were things he just did naturally. Of course Seth would feel something for Dean, Seth just couldn’t believe it took him this long to realize.


	6. Learning Experience

Breakfast was a success. Though Dean wouldn’t call what he did cooking, the Rollins family and especially Seth were absolutely thankful for it. He had prepared some eggs 3 ways; sunny side up, scrambled, and poached. He fried up some bacon and a couple of breakfast sausages. Dean had separated the bread; some he had left plain, some toasted, and a couple he had drenched and turned to French toast. While Dean had done that, Seth had prepared everything else that didn’t require heating. He had a fresh batch of coffee going. He filled a pitcher full of orange juice. He got the bags of fruit that Dean had been able to buy and cut them up.

Once they were done they had made a decent spread on the kitchen island. It wasn’t until everyone had loaded their individual plates when Brandon, Seth’s older brother, mentioned this reminded him of the taco station their dad would prepare for them as kids. Everything just laid out for everyone else to come and assemble what they wanted. Apart from breakfast his mom and dad would make for them, Seth could easily admit this was one of the best breakfast’s he’d ever.

“This was wonderful Dean,” Holly had spoken while eating her slices of French toast with honey and berries. “Thank you.”

“Neh, don’t mention it.” The blond had replied before taking a sip of his coffee, Seth suspecting the mug was their to hide the blush forming on his cheeks.

“No, really Dean.” Hector who had stood up to grab another cup of coffee, had stopped to put a reassuring hand on Dean’s shoulder. “My family and I really appreciate it. It’s been a while since we’ve had everyone under one roof again. And as fun as taking care of these little monsters can be, it was really thoughtful of you to offer us your help. So, thank you.”

Seth’s stepdad Hector was a kind man. It was easily seen in his demeanor. Ever since Seth’s own father walked out on them, Hector had been the man of the house and had taken him and Brandon in open arms like they were his own kids. Though, the whole ordeal had caused Seth to go through a couple of difficult teen years. It wasn’t until after all that when he realized how blessed he was to have his stepdad and his mom stuck by him through it all.

Being surrounded by his family, reminded of everything he’d gone through. Now to have Dean, a member of chosen family, be a part of it all and see not only his stepdad but his whole family welcome him so easily, Seth felt his heart full and happy. Whatever the circumstances were, no matter how bad it could be, Seth was glad Dean had chosen to come to him. Seth was glad his family seemed to have chosen Dean as much as Seth already had.

After breakfast, Holly and Dd had insisted to do the cleaning after everything Dean and Seth had already done. Hector had plans to clean up the garage and shovel the driveway. Seth and Dean had volunteered to help, but Hector had insisted that he and Brandon were more than capable of finishing the job, much to Brandon’s dismay. Hector had reminded Seth of how much he had wanted to check up on his wrestling school and should take the chance to do so now.

“They’d really appreciate seeing you again.” Hector had said. “They haven’t seen you since November. Think it’s time for a visit.”

“They’re still there? I mean, hadn’t they gone off for the holidays?” Dean had asked.

“Well, most of them have.” Holly had answered with a sad sigh as she put dishes away. “But some of our kids have _difficult_ home lives. Let’s just say they’d much rather stay than go home.”

Before Seth could ask about that, Dean had made a sad sigh of his own and agreed. “I totally get that.”

Now, Seth rudely reminded how he was still clueless about what was going on with Dean. He was tempted to ask, but knew the timing was not right. Instead, he had turned to his friend and asked.

“You wanna come check the place out?” he asked with an excited smile.

“Me?” Dean sounding more confused than he really should have. “You sure about that? I had never been any good at school.”

“Yeah you,” he repeated. “The kids’ll love it. I mean it’s a wrestling school. It’s basically like you’re coming in as a guest lecturer.” He lightheartedly joked. “Those kids will absolutely shit themselves when they find out you’re there. Plus, they’d actually learn something valuable.” Seth smiled. Then both wrestlers went to their respective rooms to get ready.

It had been a couple of weeks since Seth had gone to “Black and Brave”. He did his best to keep up to date with the place and made sure he had a good grasp on everything going on. But with all the travelling and shows, it can be pretty difficult to run a school so far away from it all. He was grateful he had the chance to do so now. Then to bring Dean along would be such a great opportunity for the kids. Apart from that, he thought maybe the experience would also be a good for Dean. Would be a good distraction from whatever he was going through. It would put him in his element and have others see that too is just a bonus.

By the time Seth was ready, he had gone downstairs. His mom had insisted he take some of the leftovers from breakfast for their lunch with the kids at the school. Seth took the sandwiches and had gone down to warm up his car only to find his friend already there and seemed to have been checking the trunk.

“What you doing?” he asked.

“Nothing.” Dean said innocently the way a kid does when he's clearly done something behind your back.

“Ok,” Seth knew better, but he was willing to see this through.

“What’s that?” Dean asked motioning at the Tupperware he was holding.

“Lunch stuff.” Seth had imitated Dean’s earlier answer but added “Mom wanted us to bring some leftover sandwiches for the kids at the school.”

“Sweet,” Dean had said before he climbed in the passenger seat and took the sandwiches from the other man to place them on his lap.

The drive to the school was made both feel familiar. Seth behind the wheels with Dean shotgun. Dean had asked a couple of questions about the place before getting there, just wanting to orient himself about the school; How many kids they got? Less then 20 maybe even less now during the holidays. How old are they? They ranged from 16 to 23. How far along are they? Some are there for the fun of it, less than a handful seem to be really in for it in the long haul, while most are more or less curious about the whole thing wanting to learn more. Seth couldn’t really think of anything deeply important to tell the other man, and just reassured him that he’ll be great. He honestly thinks the kids will just be thrilled to have another wrestler there to teach them something new.

He had parked right outside the building. The place was a converted warehouse. It had reminded Dean of the FCW headquarters before he and Seth had joined the main roster. Seth hadn’t noticed the resemblance until now, maybe it was comforting to have someplace for other’s start similar to where he started. Both men had gotten out of the car, Dean had handed Seth the Tupperware. Seth made his way towards the building. Once he had gotten to the door to open it for his friend he had realized rather than follow him Dean had gone behind the car to open the trunk.

“What’s going on?” Seth asked again, fearing the worst.

“Nothing, just head inside and do a little introduction or something.” He had answered without really answering. Seth had looked at him suspiciously but was only shooed away by the other man who was still trying to get the trunk opened.

Whatever Dean was up to, Seth hope to god almighty it wasn’t anything too bad.

He walked into the school and was met with warm welcome. He could see that less than half of the kids were here, but again knowing it was the holidays he was not surprised. He had asked around updates on how everyone was going. Mostly have been keeping up to date on their workouts and practices. They were good kids. Seth wouldn’t have given them a chance if he suspected any different. He had asked how the living quarters were and made sure everything was doing well. Other than a few of them complaining that others were not pulling their weight on the chores, no real problem seemed to have arose in his absence.

He had gotten them to settle down and grab a chair each. He had them sit in semi-circle next to the ring where he had stood to speak to them.

“Ok, first of all; I’m glad to see each and every one of you. I can see a lot of familiar faces, and for whatever reason you may have I’m glad you guys have chosen to stick around. It’s been a while since I’ve been here, but I’m back and I’m glad to say that brought a guest you guys are going to be excited to meet.”

And as if rehearsed cue, the door to the school had been kicked open. There stood a silhouette of a man tall and broad shouldered carrying a heavy load in his arms. He strutted his way in making absolutely no eye contact. When he was a good five feet away from the ring he had bent forward and threw what he had held in his hands hard enough that it rolled to a stop between Seth and the kids all of whom paled at the sight of the thing.

“Hi kids,” Dean greeted as he now stood in front of him. His smile a mile long and his eyes sparkling with mischief. “I'm Dean Ambrose, and I’m here to teach you the many ways to wrestle with barbed wires.” Then casually pointed to the giant coil of thorny metal in front of them.

Everybody held their breath. The students in question might have just had, as Seth predicted earlier, shat themselves. Seth couldn’t blame them.

“Dean, no!” Seth exclaimed with horrified worry.

“What?” Dean asked incredulously. “It’s just the basics.”

Seth looked at the students wanting to give them a reassuring look, but was just as worried as they were. He thought one of them was going to pass out. The another started breathing heavily, as Seth felt the need to ask himself if any one of them had asthma or something.

After a very tense silence in the gym, it had finally broke with a chuckle. A little laugh that slowly transformed into a deep and uncontrolled cackle. Dean was laughing so hard he had to grab a hold of the ring to keep himself from toppling over.

In that moment, Seth wasn’t sure if he wanted to punch him in the face or kick him in the balls. He should have known Dean was just joking. He really shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was.

“Hahahaha Ambrose, very funny!” Seth had said sarcastically.

“You should have seen your faces.” Dean had tried to reply between laughs, as he wiped the tears in his eyes. “You turned paler than Sheamus ass.”

Once it was abundantly clear that Dean was in fact joking, you could see the collective sigh of relief that fell over the rest of the students. A couple even found the humor in it enough to laugh at their sorry state, but all were just relieved barbed wire was not going anywhere near them in any sort of way.

To seemingly prove this, Dean had bent down and grabbed the coil to heft it back into his arms exactly like he had done when he came in and began to carry it out of the way to against a far side wall.

“You are unbelievable Ambrose.” Seth said sarcastically as the other man made his way back towards them.

“Holy crap that was good... Anyway, sorry about the lil scare I gave you. Was just joking, but Seth did invite me of help.” With a giant clap and a big smile he asked the group of 8-9 teens “So, who’s ready to wrestle.?”

For the next couple of hours Dean and Seth had ran the students through basic warm up and passes. Made sure each and every one of them were ready to give show them their best. Seth had called them to pair up and plan a little showcase of what they had been working on since he last saw them. He thought the best way for Dean to be able to help the kids was to first get to see them work and build from there. It was such a welcome not only to have a fresh pair of eyes on his students, but one’s he has such respect for.

Dean had always been an incredible wrestler and performer. It was rare to really have both, and crucial for success in the industry they were in. If you were just a fighter then you should go ahead and move to boxing or MMA. If you were just a performer than go for being an actor or rockstar. But Dean was both, what was great about him was that Seth believed that wrestling really was what Dean loved. This wasn’t some stupid stepping stone towards something grander like a career being a movie star or pop icon. Dean was really into it for being into it, being a genuine fan and wanting to be apart of something he had always admired growing up. It was something he had always admired about Dean. It was one of the things they had shared.

After the rounds between the students, and a few helpful tips given to each of them. The two were then egged on to put a show of their own. Though it was only for 9 teens in a warehouse, Dean and Seth were more than enthusiastic about showing them how they were. He was sure many of his students have seen them fight before; all on TV and many during house shows in Davenport. But to fight in a gym like this, to fight just for the sake of fighting he had felt like showing them something they hadn’t seen before.

“What you say baby?” he teased the blond.

“I say bring it pretty boy.” Dean replied with a giant smile on his face.

They both charged at the same time. Arms in and out of grappling. Heads tucked and body rolls avoiding each other’s hits. The occasional bounce off the ropes for distance. This was a fight for fun. No pressure for an audience or upper management. Not having to have a script in mind. It was just pure and that’s how Dean and Seth wrestled best.

Though he had met him years prior through mutual friends and being in the same companies, but at different times, their first real match really didn’t happen until they both reached FCW down in Tampa around 2011. He can still remember that day when Joey Mercury unknowingly re-introduced him to Dean Ambrose.

_*flashback*_

_“So what you got planned now you’re here?” Seth asked after their short small talk._

_“Oh that’s easy,” he answered. “I’m gonna challenge you for that championship you have.”_

_Taken aback by how brazen the newcomer was Seth couldn’t help but ask “You sure about that?”_

_Dean had only shrugged and gave the other man his killer smile and answered. “A far as I can see, you’re the only one worth fighting around here.” He answered then walked away towards his locker._

_Seth was instantly intrigued by him, and a little more than annoyed. No matter what was going to happen, he was sure it was going to be interesting when it involved Dean Ambrose._

_But what he had thought would just be a gimmick to make a big splash into the developmental pool, was quickly proven wrong once Dean actually approached him before their match to talk strategy. Though he had been bold enough to challenge him outright, he was not the type to just pull crap off in the middle of the ring, at least not if he can help it. He wanted to see if Seth had any ideas on how to make their match a little more exciting. They had quickly traded ideas here and there about what to do and when._

_“You a flyer right?” Dean asked._

_“Yeah,” Seth answered side-eying the other man._

_“Got any tricks I gotta be prepared for?” he asked._

_“No, I don’t do that stuff as much here.” He explained._

_“Why the fuck not?” the blond asked._

_“Had a couple of accidents already. The space between the ring and the barriers is barely five feet, makes jumping out the ring risk the audience. Plus couple of the other guys have dropped me before. Mercury has advised against it unless we’d worked on it before.” He answered as he did his pre-match stretches._

_There was a pause between them as they made their respective preparations for their match. It wasn’t until they had less than five minutes left for their entrance when Dean had added._

_“You should do it. Fly out the ring, it would be awesome.” He said, which made the younger man chuckle but clearly not agree with him. “I’d catch you.”_

_Seth looked at Dean in the eye. He had seemed pretty sure of himself, but he’s pretty sure that’s just his default mode. Seth was still unsure himself._

_“Listen, I know we haven’t ever been the ring together before but I can promise you I ain’t like one of the numbskulls.” Dean looked at Seth sternly, sounding more serious than he ever has. “I’m not gonna drop you.”_

_Those were his last words before he had gone and made his entrance in the FCW ring, leaving Seth to make a split second decision before he made his own entrance. Dean was right, he and Seth have never been in the ring together. He had figured that was the main reason why they had given Dean the ok to jump right into the championship pool so quickly. Indie fans were excited to see Jon Moxley and Tyler Black finally face off. It was that reminder that Dean basically came from where Seth had come from himself. Dean was right, he wasn’t like the numbskulls NFL rejects who’s botched matches before. Dean more than capable of doing exactly what he said he’d do. With a deep breath, Seth finally made a decision and made his own entrance._

_It was at the end of their first fight in FCW when Seth knew for certain Dean was exactly who he said he was, and then some. He was good. There was no question about it. Seth hadn’t really even doubted it knowing where he’d come from. What really stood out for him was though they had never fought each other before, their first FCW fight was the smoothest match Seth had fought in a long time. It just flowed so easily. Where Seth would move one way, Dean was right there to counter, which Seth would do so in return. It felt like they’d been fighting for forever. At one point when Dean was outside the ring, Seth had taken the plunge and flew between the ropes on towards the other man. Just like Dean had said he would, he grabbed him in mid-air then safely got both of them on the ground. It was awesome. He and Dean just seemed to click._

After years of being on the road together, fighting together, fighting each other, that chemistry just seemed to grow between them. Which made their current fighting in Black and Brave just be a constant move and response between the two men. Smiles on their faces and aches in their bodies, it was clear to anyone and everyone who were watching them that they were having more than fun. Neither had even realized they had been fighting for a good 30 minutes already, and it had only ended when Dean had an exhausted Seth on his back and reminded the other man it was probably lunch time.

They had all regrouped around the snack table by the side of the gym. The kids had gone to their common kitchen and grabbed water for everyone. They sat and ate their sandwiches while in companionable chatter.

“Seth,” Alex, one of the teens spoke. “Tell Mrs. Rollins thanks for the sandwiches. They’re really good.”

“Actually,” Seth had slung his arm around Dean’s shoulder. “Dean had actually prepared them.”

The surprised looks on their faces seemed funny to Seth but a little insulting to Dean “Don’t worry, it’s not like I put razor blades in them.” Which had gotten more than one of them suspiciously looking between the bread they were holding.

“Don’t worry… I was there when he made them.” Seth joked. “They’re safe.”

They had continued to eat their sandwiches. Everyone in the group making small talk and goofing around. When it came time to clean up, one of the students had spoken up.

“Can I ask a question?” he asked.

“Sure, Jesse what’s on your mind?” Seth asked the younger man with dark curls.

“How do you, like, make up your character?” he asked, his eyes shyly darting more towards Dean.

“Well, that’s a little advance for this stage Jes,” Seth tried to change the topic.

“No, I know.” He had nodded. “I’m just curious…” he clearly wanted to say something but was having a hard time doing so. “I’ve been a fan of yours since Moxley.” He finally admitted.

“Have you?” Dean asked a little more than surprised. “How old are you kid?”

“19,” he admitted again.

“You must have been 10 the last time I was Moxley,” Dean pointed out. “You were not old enough to have seen any of my old stuff.”

“My brother showed them to me, when I was a kid.” He explained. “He did it to scare me at first, which I kinda did, but looking at them now. You were… insane.”

That had made the two superstars chuckle. Seth remembered the first time he had met Dean all those years ago. They had met at a party of a common friend of theirs. Someone they had both worked with at different times and at different companies. It was just by chance they were performing in a town nearby.

_Seth had walked in with his buddies and got introduced to Dean and his coworkers. They didn’t really hang out that night, preferring to stick to their own circle of friends. It was only when one of Dean’s coworkers had brought out a camera and told Dean to bring out Moxley for them. An impromptu promo in the middle of a party where the guy was already more than a couple of drinks in. Seth couldn’t help but want to watch the trainwreck he assumed it was going to be. Seth thought there was no way this was going to end well. The man in question had just stood behind the kitchen counter gave himself a slight slap on the face and motioned for the camera guy to go._

_Seth was so wrong. Yes, Dean was more than a little drunk. Yes, he had looked ridiculous with douchy shades on indoors in the middle of the night. Yes, this seemed like a dumb idea. But Dean made it all seem to work. Right in front of his eyes, he saw the man transform from Dean to Jon Moxley. He had heard about him; people threw around words like crazy, and unhinged, and unpredictable. It wasn’t until you saw it up close when you realized what they were talking about. They were right. Dean as Jon Moxley was that and more._

“Thanks kid,” Dean had only smiled and took another sip of his water.

“I mean, I don’t mean to pry. I know you’re a pretty private guy…” he spoke more today than Seth has heard him all year. “But like, how’d you get to sound like that? Like any of the stuff you said like true?”

All eyes were now turned towards Dean. The students seemed to have been on this weird combination of excitement and also a bit of fear, not really knowing how the older wrestler would respond.

“I mean, yeah.” Dean answered and put down his bottle of water. “Some of it was true. I mean if you’re asking how it started that way, that’s basically it. You start by telling the truth.” His answer only seemed to have made the students more confused. “It all comes from a certain truth you believe. I mean you don’t have to divulge each and every little thing about you. But what you do go out there and share better be something you believe in, coz when you don’t they’ll see right through you.”

“The first character I had was like a varsity blues football player with some other guy I don’t remember. It really didn’t mean anything to me, coz it wasn’t me. I was trying to act like a big dog knowing shit I didn’t know and claiming accomplishments that weren’t mind and you know what happened?” he asked. “They chewed me up and spat me out.”

“It wasn’t until I guess about your age when I started to kinda see something a little closer to home. Like the varsity blue guy was popular, athletic, top tiered… everything I didn’t really feel like I was.” He spoke slowly and carefully like Seth could see him pick his memories out from his past. To be honest, he hadn’t heard Dean open up like this in a while.

“The truth was, or at least what I had grown up to be the truth was more or less the opposite. I wasn’t the popular kid, I was the pariah. I wasn’t really athletic, other than wrestling, I didn’t really give a shit about my body other than taking care of it so I could wrestle. I wasn’t top tiered, I wasn’t even on the damn cake. I below that. I was a gutter rat. Just white trash street urchin bum. No one really thought more of me. Being successful in anything, much less professional wrestling, was the furthest thing anyone would have ever thought of me to do.”

Though the man spoke straight and clearly, Seth was trying to spot any sort of clue to how he was really feeling about telling these kids about all of this. Like Jesse had mentioned, Dean was very private. He really wanted to make sure his friend wasn’t feeling pressured to speak like this.

“There was a point I wanted to bury all that, and maybe the varsity blue guy would have been able to do that, but it didn’t. Instead of trying to become something I just really was not, I started to curve towards being exactly who everyone thought I should be and go beyond that. Like if they were gonna think I was just some white trash piece of shit, then let them.”

Seth heart ached. He knew Dean’s earlier character was based a little bit on the reality that was Dean’s childhood, but even he was never sure which was true and which was not. He had never really tried to ask. Hearing his friend open up so casually about something so heartbreaking was troubling. He was tempted to stop but seeing the kids almost just as affected as he was, and seeing that Dean was not stopping himself. Seth had decided to let the other man speak till he was ready to stop.

“Like, did I grow up poor? Was my mom a whore? Did I sell drugs to survive living on the streets? Whether or not anyone knew the true answers to any of these questions was irrelevant. The point was those were stuff that was expected of me the way I was and how I had come to be… People basically fucking looked down on me like I was something they had stepped on…” his voice wavering on sad at the end but he composed himself before he added “And that was ok.”

“How is any of that ok?” Jesse asked.

Dean had sat up straight, looking up at the boy who sat across from him, then gave him a big and genuine smile before answering “Coz I was gonna prove them all wrong.”

Seth was right. Bringing Dean here was a good idea, and his kids were learning something valuable. But apart from that, Seth was learning something valuable too. Seth always thought he was lucky to have Dean the way their friendship was. He realized luck had nothing to do with it. Dean fought to get here, to get this far. Seth was realizing how blessed he was with Dean, and he refuses to ever forget that.


	7. Keeping up Defenses

After their successful afternoon at the Black and Brave Wrestling Academy, he and Dean had gone back home with big bright smiles on their faces. During the ride back home, Seth was sorely tempted to ask a couple of questions about the things Dean had shared with his students, but seeing the satisfied look on Dean’s face, he was not willing to be the reason to change that.

They had gone home to a semi-busy house. The drive way had been newly shoveled. The garage seemed a lot roomier than that morning, and the kitchen was far cleaner than how they had left it earlier. The boys had walked into the living room where Hector and Brandon were both helping themselves to a couple of beers. Holly and Dd were on the floor wrapping up some Christmas presents. The TV was on to a brand new game which seemed to have gotten everyone’s attention.

“Hey, how was school?” Brandon had asked with teasing in his voice.

“I had a blast.” Dean answered as he plopped himself down on the couch right behind the female members of the Rollins family. “Best day in school I’ve ever had.” He added with a chuckle.

“Oh yeah?” Seth’s older brother just smiled before he took another sip of his beer.

“Yeah, you would say that after you scared those kids shitless.” Seth added as he got two bottles of beers, one for himself and another for Dean. He gave one to the other as he sat on the couch right next to him.

Holly with a shocked and worried face had playfully smacked Dean on the calf and asked him “What did you do?” her little smirk betraying any actual scolding from the matriarch.

“Nothing,” Dean replied innocently but his blue eyes sparkling with mirth which he tried to hide behind taking his first sip of his beer.

“He rolled out like 10 feet of barbed wire and threatened to wrestle them with it.” Seth countered with a matching smirk on his face.

“Dean!” Holly now a little more outraged and gave the older wrestler another smack on his calf, which only made Dean laugh a little harder. “You didn’t.”

“I didn’t.” he denied. “I never threatened them. I just thought I would give them a… _unique learning experience_.” He explained, even adding the air quotes on the last statement. “I doesn’t hurt to know as much as you can in this business.”

“Dean, it’s barbed wires!” the middle Rollins child pointed out. “It hurts no matter what you do with it.” He added.

But Dean only sank into the couch further as he drank his beer and quietly mumbled to himself. “You get used to it.”

Though Seth knew what Dean meant. Seth had seen more than his fair share of matches that showed a bloody faced Jon Moxley taking barbed wires, fluorescent lights, and countless other weapons to his body, and all with a giant smile to his face. He knew exactly what Dean was capable of, but hearing that verbal confirmation of how numb to pain Dean had come to be over the years made the younger man’s chest tighten with an ache. As much has he wanted to just shake his friend from those types of thoughts, he didn’t think calling him out on it would really help. Thankfully, Seth’s stepdad had interjected before the temptation got too much.

“You got 10 feet of barbed wires to scare a bunch of kids?” Hector asked disbelievingly. “That’s a lot of dedication for a prank.” He added before raising his beer in mock toast to his houseguest.

“Finally, some appreciation.” Dean joked as he raised his own glass to the older Rollins. “But seriously, the barbed wires there for when you need it. I saw your fence getting a little rusted on the far end there. Thought you could use the replacement.” He added simply before he took another sip of his beer.

“I had been meaning to buy that-” the genuine surprise clear in Hector’s voice. “Thank you Dean. I owe you.” He raised his beer in a simple toast towards his house guest.

A toast Dean had raised back from his seat as he replied “Don’t mention it.” Before taking a drink himself.

Seth raised his eyebrows at the revelation. He like his stepfather had assumed the barbed wires were purely for the prank on the kids. That just seemed like something Dean would do. He was a prankster and doing something like making the effort to buy unnecessary hardware for a prank just seemed like him. Now knowing that his friend actually went out of his way to, again, buy something his family had unknowingly needed was made his chest warm with affection.

The warm camaraderie of the living room was broken with the sudden and somewhat loud ringtone of Taylor Swift’s ‘ _Never Getting Back Together’_ coming from the phone on the coffee table. The phone Seth recognize to belong to his younger sister Dd. Dd who then made an annoyed sigh as she tried to ignore the ringing phone and continue with her gift wrapping.

“D, come on pick it up or put it on silent mode. We’re trying to watch the game.” Brandon had complained.

Mumbling a curt ‘fine’ under her breath, Dd took her phone only to reject the incoming call and put her phone on silent before putting it down and going back to her work. The Rollins family, with Dean, enjoyed another 5 minutes of watching the game before the phone began to rang again. This time vibrating incessantly on the glass counter top. The whole family seemed to clearly made a collective effort to ignore the ringing until the youngest member could make a decision on what to do with it.

This collective agreement was either lost on Dean or he had actively disregarded for putting his beer down and grabbing the phone in his hand. Dd to her credit tried to grab it before the other man could take it, but was too slow to do anything. Everyone was on the edge of insisting Dean to not do anything and just give it back, but again no one was quite fast enough to stop the man.

“Hello,” Dean had answered casually with a thick and over the top Texan accent. “This here’s Zeke for Sex and Sound, your number one source for all-male erotic voice play. How may I help you darlin?” Dean had drawled out so effortlessly the whole Rollins family could not decide how to react.

Brandon practically shot beer out his nose. Hector, for all his stoicism, just seemed both confused and disturbed by what he was hearing. Holly was scandalized but seemed to be curious about what was going to unfold. Dd went from being upset and embarrassed had to cover her mouth with her hand to stop herself from laughing her head off. Seth froze in his seat. His jaw dropping at Dean’s audacity to not only pick up his sister’s phone, presumedly intercepting a call from her ex, and then to pretend to be a phone sex operator in front of his whole family like he was just ordering pizza.

“Oh hello Ryan, what can I do you for?” Dean drawled sexily with a smirk on his lips and twinkling in his eyes. He had winked for a split second towards Dd before he continued. “Nope. No Dd here Ryan… But you know what I got a big D right over here just for you.” He had teased which forced everyone in the room to suppress giggles. “Oh calm down sugar… no need to get all testy. Unless you’re into that sort of stuff then well , gonna charge you extra for that…” Dean’s smile just seemed to get bigger as he played the role. “Well you know what, with an attitude like that sounds even a good ole’ fucking ain’t gonna cure that. Scumbags like you give dick a bad name… so unless you want me to bill you for the filth you’re spewing in my direction right now, then I suggest you quit calling this number or you’ll be expecting a whole different kind of fucking going your way, sugar.” He made an exaggerated kissing sound before he hung up the phone and handed it over to a stunned Dd.

Now the whole Rollins family was frozen. None of them knew how to process what they had just heard. Even Seth was having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact his best friend had made up some ridiculous sexed up Matthew McConaughey accent to scare off his sister’s asshole ex. It was fucking glorious.

“Goddamn…” Hector was the first to break the silence. His eyes fixated on Dean as if he had just grown a second head or something.

“That was amazing!” Brandon had finally spoke up after recovering from choking on his beer. “Holy shit!”

“Brandon! Language!” Holly had called out before lightly patting Dd on her shoulder and motioned towards Dean. “Dd do you have something to say?”

“Oh my God, thank you so much!” she said excitedly as he quickly got to her feet and surprised Dean by giving him a tight hug.

Seth was still kind of frozen on the spot after what had happened, but the way his sister too easily wrapped her arms around Dean’s neck made the warmth in him started to chill. He could only stare as his best friend awkwardly tried to return the hug without leaving his sitting position on the couch. A shy tight lipped smile on his face as he leaned forward on to Dd’s shoulder just before she let go and went back to the floor.

“He’s been driving me insane since yesterday. Couldn’t get rid of him.” Dd explained. “You really didn’t have to do that Dean.” he added.

“Don’t sweat it kitten. Assholes like that need to be put in their place. Let me know if he tries to call you again, I’m sure I can get Zeke out for another round.” Dean said with a flirty wink towards the girl.

That chill in Seth now ran cold. Oddly enough he doubted it was the fact that it was his sister that was getting his friend’s attention that made him feel that way. It was something else Seth couldn’t put his finger on, but he knew he didn’t like how it felt.

It was fairly quiet for the rest of the night. Holly and Hector went to make dinner while the rest of them stayed in the living room to continue watching TV. After the game Seth decided to leave, thinking he might just need to rest before dinner started. He had turned back before going upstairs, his invitation for Dean to hangout dying on his lips as he watched his sister take his place on the couch as the rest went ahead and started to choose a movie for all of them to enjoy. Seth bit his tongue and quietly went to his room. That weight in his chest just seemed to only get heavier.

_That night Seth had another dream. Again they were at the steakhouse. Again their had their steak and eggs. Again their waiter had assumed they were a couple, but this time the mention only made Seth smile. They fast forward to being in their room. Their clothes excitedly taken off each other. Their hands never getting enough of each other’s skin. Lips so insistent but soft kissing each other breathless. Seth found himself pushed to the bed as he stared up watching Dean standing over him. His body looking so strong and warm and inviting. Heat practically radiated off of him. Then dream Dean spoke, or was it Zeke?_

_“Sugar, you’re the prettiest goddamn thing I had ever seen…” he drawled before climbing on the bed and crawling towards him._

_All that heat Seth had felt suddenly dissipated. A sense of dread overcoming him. It was Dean’s face inching closer towards him. It was his body. It was him. Seth wanted it to be him, but it wasn’t. Seth tried to crawl away, only meeting the headboard. His face coming closer and closer for a kiss. This dream Dean slowly growing more and more unfamiliar to him. This Dean being all show and nothing more. Exaggerated expressions and over the top voice. Dream Dean was not his Dean. He was not Seth’s Dean. He was not his. Not his. Not his. Not his…_

Seth shot out of bed that morning. His body covered in sweat. His lungs aching for breath. His chest even heavier than he had felt the night before. He tried to lay back down and go back to sleep but every time he closed his eyes he only got visions of the Dean in his dream, or nightmare. Those last words ringing through his head again and again. Seth forced himself out of bed and took a much needed shower. All he needed was to start his day. That’s all he needed. It’s what he needed.

After hurriedly got dress and much like how he started the day before he made his way towards Dean’s room. He knocked on the door like yesterday, and like yesterday he heard nothing back. He opened the door then once again welcomed by the sparse look of the room; desk hardly touched, the bed made. Nothing in the room suggested an occupant other than a neatly packed bags in the corner. Seth quickly left and made his way downstairs.  

“Hey mom, where’s Dean?” the question like déjà vu to his ears.

“Good morning sweetie, you missed breakfast.” Holly answered as she was putting away the last dish she had just washed.

“Huh?” It was only then that Seth looked up at their wall clock; 10:34am. He hadn’t realized how much he overslept. “Oh, sorry mom.” He apologized and gave him mom a quick peck on the cheek before getting himself a cup of coffee.

“How’d you sleep?” she asked innocently.

Quick flashes of his dream ran through his head. Dream Dean’s flirty smile mocking him from deep in his subconscious. To be honest he hadn’t slept well, but his mom didn’t have to know about that.

“Good.” He lied.

“Well, I had put some of the leftovers in the oven” she motioned towards the food.

“Oh, thanks mom.” He replied as he made his way towards the oven and took a quick look inside. A nice little spread was left in front of him that made his stomach grumble. Before he took anything he asked his mom again “Hey mom, have you seen Dean?”

“Oh, he already left.” She answered as she folded the dishtowels. “He went out with Dd.” She added.

Seth suddenly lost his appetite.

“They went out?” he asked and was only answered with his mom’s curt nod. “Where’d they go?” he asked.

“Well Dd said she was headed to the mall for some last minute Christmas shopping.” She explained. “Dean had forgotten about Chistmas shopping altogether and asked her to go with him.”

 _Dean asked her to go with him._   

Seth closed the oven door abruptly at that. The sight of the food making his stomach feel worse. He opted to get himself a cup of coffee and hoped the hot beverage would be enough to ease his gut.

“Not hungry sweetie?” she asked.

“Nah, I’m good.” He lied again, hiding his face behind his coffee mug. “Hey, where’s dad and Brandon.”

“Oh they went out to fix that whole in the fence Dean had spotted.” She answered. “That was really sweet of him to buy that for us. Think your dad wants to offer to pay him back for the wire.”

 _Yeah, Dean was sweet,_ Seth thought as a smile slowly creeped to his lips. A smile he quickly erased with another sip of scalding coffee, wanting it to replace the that bloom of warmth in his chest.

“I’m gonna go and lend them a hand.” He quickly said as he went to put on his boots and jacket before leaving.

“Oh ok, are you sure sweetie?” she asked worriedly. “You didn’t eat anything.”

“I’m fine mom.” He lied for the third time before he opened the door and walked out.

 _Dean asked if her to go with him_ Those words made the pit in Seth’s stomach feel even worse. It really shouldn’t though. Dean wasn’t his to keep. The other man was not obligated to stay by Seth’s side. He certainly didn’t need to ask permission to leave. He definitely could leave with just about anyone, including Seth’s sister.

Should Seth really be surprised though? Ever since he’s been friends with the other wrestler his younger sister had an embarrassing crush on the other man. Seth had always thought it was just her way of irritating him; mentioning how hot people he had to work with were. Dean wasn’t exactly the first guy his sister set her eyes on. Why should he worry either

Like, yes he has seen Dean flirt. He had seen him charm the pants off many women. Dean had always had this cool cockiness about him. He’d give them that bright smile, show off his dimples, and use those baby blue eyes of his. Dean was incredibly attractive. Seth was not blind to that fact. He had just never considered it until now.

Even if they went out. It didn’t mean anything. They went to the mall for gods sake. They went out to buy Christmas presents. Of course Dean had not gifts prepared, this whole trip was unplanned. It was obvious he’d need to buy stuff. Who else better than his sister to bring shopping with. Who else should have Dean brought shopping with? Really who?

 _Dean was not his._ Words from his dream seemed to creep up on him and took a hold of his heart. The ache he had felt I the pit of his stomach spreading all over. Seth wished the bitter cold of winter and maybe the strain on his muscles from hard work would be good enough to distract him from the confusion in his head and the ache in his middle.

He finally reached the far end of their back fence. His stepdad and Brandon working on the old barb wire had rusted through. Though Dean had only spotted one area that really needed the repair, Hector had decided to go from one end of the fence to the other and fix what needed to be fixed. They had the extra wire, they might was well used it. The prospect of finally fixing their whole fence made the patriarch smile, while it made Brandon groan. He more than once mentioned how this was not something he was expecting for his Christmas vacation. It was fair to say Brandon did not get any sympathy from either Hector and Seth.

They had ended up working until mid-afternoon. Following the fence and making sure they had fixed everything right up. Seth could feel the cold soaking through his skin. The ache seeping through his bones. But it was better than how he had felt a couple of hours earlier. He actually had the chance to forget about what was bothering him. He thought that was enough to calm his nerves for the rest of the day.

That plan shot out of the window when the first thing he saw walking back into their house was Dean and Dd sitting down at the dining room table having a couple cups of coffee. That ache in his gut came back in full force.

“Hey man,” Dean greeted. “How goes the repair?”

Before Seth could say anything, Hector had jumped in and answered for them. “It was great. All that barbed wire you bought had really helped Dean. Thank you.”

“Well I’m glad it helped.” He smiled to the older man. “Was worried I bought too much, but can you believe they sell that stuff in 10 feet coils now? Couldn’t get anything less than that.” He complained.

“It was more than enough, went out and fixed the fence end to end.” Hector announced happily before getting a cup of coffee himself.

“Yeah Dean, thanks a lot.” Brandon said sarcastically, but clearly just fooling around with them. “Hadn’t realized how damn long our fence was until today.”

“Quit whining! It’s good for you to actually get yourself working.” Seth replied to his older brother.

Seth took his time and waited for his turn at the coffee machine, all the while staring at the Dean and Dd seated somewhat close to each other talking low about something that made Dean smile.

“So!” Seth may have said a little too loudly. “How was the mall?” he asked awkwardly more towards Dean.

“It was great.” Dd was the one who answered. “Hadn’t realized they added so much to the place. It was really great. Got a ton of stuff for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Seth asked dumbly.

“Yeah, tomorrow.” Dd answered, and when her brother didn’t seem to get the hint she elaborated. “The Christmas party. For the guys at the wrestling school. At your café. Mom’s been prepping for it for weeks. Did you forget?”

Seth completely forgot. Since starting Black and Brave they’ve had a yearly Christmas party celebrating the past year. This year he had actually added a new venture of starting a small café near the academy. A nice little coffee shop for their community. It wasn’t an official opening, but it was his mom’s idea to have a soft opening just for them to celebrate the holidays as well as the new business. Seth felt like an asshole for forgetting, and he was sure it had shown on his face.

“Wow, and here I was thinking you just forgot to invite lil ole’ me.” Dean teased as he took another sip of his coffee. When Seth hadn’t smiled at the teasing Dean backtracked and said. “Don’t sweat it man. You’ve been really busy and worked up over stuff. Everything’s going to be fine. Go grab a coffee and a doughnut here.” He said comfortingly as he motioned to the small spread of sweets they must have gotten from the mall.

Seth did his best to calm down. After everything that’s been going on he couldn’t believe he had forgotten about the Christmas party and the coffee shop. He had been so distracted he forgot. He finally got the chance to take a cup of coffee for his own. He took the free seat right next to Dean and was just about to get a doughnut for himself when Dd squealed.

“You will not believe how many people are commenting on my post right now. It’s insane.” She said as she shoved her phone towards Seth.

“Still have no idea why anyone would be interested in that.” Dean said before taking a bite of his doughnut.

“Because my friends are freaking out about who my mystery date was for today.” She said with a big smile.

It wasn’t until Seth had actually taken a good hard look at the Instagram post his sister was referring too. It was generic Instagram picture for sure. It had the soft filter and the non-descript background. It was the subject of the photo that really got Seth’s attention. It was Dd’s hand clasping another. Though there was hardly any hint to the man attached, Seth knew instantly. It was Dean’s hand. In the caption below it said _‘shopping with someone special’_ followed by a few emojies of red and pink hearts and yellow smiles.

For the second time that day, Seth suddenly lost his appetite to eat. He resided himself to quietly finishing his coffee and saying goodbye to everyone before heading back upstairs. If he thought his body felt heavy right after fixing the fence, it was nothing compared to how down and out he felt at that moment as he practically dragged his feet back to his bedroom.

He landed on his bed with a disappointed whoosh, letting the weight of his limbs and everything he was feeling just pull him to bed. Seth felt like all that hard work was for nothing. He was glad to be of helped. He was glad to have spent the afternoon with his family. He should be glad for the somewhat productive day he’s had, but he can’t. The ache in his chest just wouldn’t let him.

He just felt defeated by his emotions. Logically he knew it most likely meant nothing. Just another ploy for Dd to get back at her ex. He knew that it was just a shopping trip to the mall. He knew that if anything was going on Dean would be the first one to tell him. He knew that it was nothing. He knew. Didn’t he?

A knock at the door startled him from his overthinking. He didn’t even have the energy to angrily shout at whoever was at the other side. He knew deep down that no matter how shitty he was feeling right now, he shouldn’t be taking it out on anyone.

He slowly got out of bed and made his way to open the door only to be met with the one person that he really could not stand to look at right now.

“You ok?” Dean asked worriedly.

“Yeah,” Seth needed to get better at lying. “Just not feeling well. Must be from all the work.”

“-Or it might be from the hunger.” The other wrestler countered as he got out a plate of goodies for him. “Your mom said you hadn’t eaten anything since this morning.”

It was only then that Seth really felt the emptiness in his stomach. He had been much too upset to even realize it until now.

“Thank you,” he said sheepishly as he took the plate offered to him.

“You’re welcome.” Dean replied, and before he turned to leave he asked. “Are we cool?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t we be?” another lie.

“I mean, you haven’t really talked to me all day. Just wanted to make sure.” He answered.

“I mean you’re the one who left with Dd.” Seth said without thinking, the hurt look on Dean’s face making him regret his words instantly.

“Is that what this is about? Seriously? Seth, I wouldn’t do that to you.” He answered exasperatedly. Seth looked at him with a somewhat clueless but sad expression. “Seth it was just a shopping trip to the mall. I needed help to buy stuff and Dd was already heading there so I decided to ask for her help.” He explained.

Seth looked at him suspiciously, he already knew all of this even without Dean saying it. He knew, but he still felt the need to hear it from Dean. “And that photo was just what?”

“That was just to mess with her ex.” Dean answered. “It didn’t mean anything.”

“You sure?” he just had to ask.

“Yeah Seth, I’m sure.” Dean’s irritated tone ringing through more strongly now, but when Seth didn’t seem to budge from the issue he added “I’m not interested in your sister Seth.”

“Well maybe you’re not.” He countered.

That made Dean fold his arms to his chest  and asked “What are you trying to say?”

“I mean…” _What was Seth trying to say,_ he stuttered with his words. “I- well- I just mean, you might. You know. Give her the wrong idea.”

Dean raised both eyebrows with surprise, his blue eyes clearly showing his hurt and confusion. “You think I could do that to her? -Wow, didn’t realize how much of douche you thought I could be.” The blond fidgeted in his place, not able to look at Seth in the eye.

Seth didn’t understand until now how accusatory he had been sounding towards Dean. Of course he would never have thought Dean would take advantage of his sister, but it was too late it had already been said.

“Dean I-” Seth tried to explain himself.

“Save it Seth,” he turned to walk away but before he did he added. “You know what, she’s a lot smarter than you give her credit for. Might actually learn a thing or two from her.” He said condescendingly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Seth asked.

“Nothing,” he answered. “Should I just leave now?” he asked.

Somehow deep inside him Seth knew Dean was not asking to leave the hallway, nor leave his sight. Seth had a overwhelming feeling that he meant leave for good and no matter how bad he was aching before, the thought of Dean leaving was worse.

“No,” he answered. He had put his plate down on the nearest flat surface in his room and carefully approached the other man. Carefully he wrapped his hand around Dean’s wrist. “Stay.”

“You sure? Coz it sounds like you don’t want me here.” He replied.

“I do.” _You have no idea how much._ He thought but could not say. “I want you to stay… please.”

Dean seemed to soften right before his eyes. The tension from his body seemed to fade away. The anger on his face making way to calmness. It was only then that Seth realized how close he was to losing him.

“You sure?” he had to make sure again.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” He answered with a soft smile. “Plus my mom would kick my ass if I kicked you out. Especially before the Christmas party.” He joked.

“Well, you’re mom can totally whip your ass.” Dean agreed with a chuckle. “You still want me there?”

“Of course I do.” _Seth wasn’t sure if he ever wanted him to leave._ “I want you there.”

Dean shrugged it off simply as if making the decision final in his head before saying “Ok,” then made the move to walk away but before that had to ask. “Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “Just hungry I guess.”

“Well eat up,” Dean replied. “Just tell me what you want and I’ll go give it to you.” He added as he started to talk back down the stairs towards the kitchen.

Seth stood there dumbly wishing he knew how to tell Dean exactly what he wanted, but just could not risk the possibility of never having it, or worse losing what little he had now.

How do you tell someone they might be all they have ever wanted? How do you tell your friend thst suddenly you don’t just want to be friends anymore? How does Seth tell Dean that? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait... been under a lot of pressure from work but now i'm somewhat back and been aching to get back to writing please be patient i am very much interested in continuing this till the end and doing the same with my other fics and i really hope i can do so as soon as i can


	8. Confessions in the Bitter Cold

The next day Seth didn’t really get the time to overthink what had transpired yesterday. That morning he was greeted by his family downstairs in the kitchen. His stepdad was frying up some bacon and eggs, while his mom was making fairly high stacks of waffles for all of them. Over the meal Holly had gone ahead and reminded everyone of tonight’s event. It wasn’t only going to be first Christmas party they would have for the students of Black and Brave but also the first time most of them would get to see 392Dport which was also Seth’s new venture with 392 coffee. Thankfully, she had gotten a catering service to provide the bulk of the food so she didn’t have to do the majority of the cooking but she had tasked herself and Dd to work on a couple of desserts to add to the party. Holly then pointed to Seth, Dean, and Brandon to prepare the coffee shop for the event. Other than Dean playfully pouting about not being able to work with the food, everyone seemed to take their task in stride.

The boys had gone to the coffee shop late that morning. The space had fortunately been cleared for use just about a week ago with all of the basics being more than ready. What the boys now had to do was some cleaning up and set all the tables and chairs accordingly as well as decorate. Holly had also informed them that some of the other furniture she had ordered for the place were supposed to be delivered that afternoon plus some nice flower arrangements. Hefting a couple of boxes of Christmas decoration and a couple of brooms and rags the boys set about to work on the place to get everything ready.

As Seth had gone about cleaning the front and the windows of the building he couldn’t help but look into his new coffee shop and just feel a deep sense of thankfulness. If you had asked him a couple of years ago that he would be where he was right now he would have taken the news with grains of salt. He had always made sure to aim as high as he could and work as hard as than he could. He knew he’d get far if he’d just kept at it but to think that after more than ten years in the business he now has a school to his name and even a small café for his community. Seth couldn’t help but feel incredibly grateful for it all.

He took the time to look into the window he was cleaning. Brandon was busy wiping off the chairs and tables already there. Dean was sweeping up from one side of the open space from the other. At least he was until he took up the broom and started to play with it as if it were a guitar. Some song, most probably classic rock, playing in the background. Seth couldn’t help but laugh at what Dean had consider dancing which was mainly just him wiggling his hips around. It only seemed to get worse when he held the broom to Brandon who then joined in with singing along to the song.

At that point as much as Seth was having fun watching his best friend and brother goofing around, he knew he had to put an end to it. He loudly but gently tapped against the window a couple of times which finally got the two boys to stop and stare at him. He pointed to his watch with a mildly impatient expression on his face as if to say ‘stop fooling around and hurry up’, which only made the two playfully scowl and gave him the middle finger. Looking like he was offended, he huffed an annoyed breath. Putting those two together might not have been the best decision Seth thought, but the two had actually stopped with the dancing around and continued to put the place together.

It took all afternoon but the boys had finished their work a couple of hours before the party was supposed to start. The new furniture had come in on time which was good. They had to assemble a couple of coffee tables and shelves together, which was bad. Thankfully Seth took charge of actually patiently reading the instructions rather than ‘winging it’ as Dean would say. The flowers had come beautifully which they had placed all around. A box of a couple of knickknacks and books to make the space feel homey and warm. They finished it off by putting up a few simple Christmas decorations around. Seth and Brandon opting for putting up the tinsel and Christmas lights, while Dean actually opted to put together artificial tree to one corner where all the gifts would go. Once they were finally done they had stepped back to take a good look and clapped each other on the back for a job well done.

Right as they were putting the cleaning supplies and boxes way, Holly, Dd, and Hector walked in carrying a couple of food containers. Even though Holly had said she had hired a catering services, she seemed to still have found the energy to prepared quite a few desserts for tonight’s event.

“Wow, you did a good job boys!” Hector congratulated them.

“I’m glad you got all the furniture ready, was worried that would come late.” Holly said as she put down the desserts on the open counters. “It looks so good. Thank you boys.” She added with a sweet smile.

“It was no problem mom.” Brandon had replied with a smile of his own.

“No problem for you, you didn’t have to try and translate microscopic Swedish in to English.” Seth huffed with playful annoyance.

“Told you, you didn’t have to.” Dean joked which only made the Armenian more annoyed rather than playful.

“Hey, who put up the tree?” Dd had asked as she walked towards the medium sized, decorated plastic tree in the corner.

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” Dean asked somewhat worriedly.

“Nothing,” Dd was quick to answer. “It’s really pretty Dean.” she reassured before taking out her phone and taking a picture of it.

“You put that up Dean?” Holly asked as she gestured towards the tree.

“I mean, I tried.” Dean shrugged sheepishly.

The plastic tree really wasn’t much. It was mainly bought a week or so ago just to add a festive feel to the café for the party. Holly provided the boys with a box of old Christmas decorations to put on it, not really thinking about it. Now finally seeing it all on there, Holly hadn’t realized.

“I made this in the 3rd grade.” Dd pointed out at a pink and gold glittering cat that hung near the top branch.

As everyone else stepped closer to the tree it was only then that the rest of the family had realized that every ornament on the tree was something homemade from their childhood past. A paper candy cane with Brandon’s name scrawled in red crayon that also said he was only 5 years old when he had made it. A gold star with Seth’s two year old face on it that said it was made on his second Christmas. Bits of memory lovingly put on the tree giving it color and life making the café feel like home.

“Thought I'd stick to the sentimental stuff. I didn’t use a lot of the other ornaments. Didn’t seem like it needed anymore…” Dean explained as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “…they’re still in the box though if you want me to get them.” Dean offered pointing to the broom closet where they had put the things away.

Holly could only shake her head no as he made long strides towards the young man and enveloped Dean in a giant hug. Her warmth seemed to radiate from her. Even Seth could see that from a couple of feet away, he could only imagine how Dean must have felt.

“Thank you Dean.”

His friend had only gave a sheepish smile back and shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

“Hey, you boys better go home to get ready for the party.” Hector pointed to the wall clock telling them they had just a little over an hour to drive home, take a shower, and get dressed.

The three boys drove back home. All three making their way to their respective rooms to get cleaned up. Seth and Brandon having to fight over their shared bathroom, with Brandon getting there first. It wasn’t until Seth had been waiting for 10 minutes when he realized his parents bathroom was left unattended.

When he finally finished he made his way to his bedroom. There he went through his things hoping to find something somewhat good enough to wear to a party. Not needing to go too formal, Seth finally got a red button down shirt which he paired with black skinny jeans and black boots. He had neatly combed and tied his hair in a bun. He looked at his mirror to check for anything else he might have missed; his shirt was iron, his jeans looked good, nothing in his teeth. He took a couple of sprits of his cologne and walked out of his room.

For the third time this week he knocked on Dean’s door, for once being sure that the other man was on the other side. After hearing a few grunts from inside, Dean finally come out looking fresh himself. Dean was wearing the same boots he had been wearing all day. He changed from his light tattered jeans to a darker and cleaner pair that had absolutely no holes in them. His shirt was a nice fitting olive green button down that hugged his broad shoulders and tucked in his small waist, a waist Seth still sometimes couldn’t believe belonged to the taller and broader man in front of him. Dean’s hair was combed back neatly, his usual curls seemed to behave for once. Overall, Seth thought Dean looked really good.

“Hey, you two match.” Brandon came out of his own room and pointed to their outfits.

The two looked down and realized they did sort of match with the Christmas colors of red and green making them look extra appropriate for the event. Brandon opted for a soft looking blue sweater and khakis. With all three of them finally ready, they were relieved to find out that they had at least 20 minutes before any of them could be considered late.

They hopped in Seth’s car and drove the short way to the café. Entering the coffeeshop was already somewhat full of familiar faces. Some students who had gone to stay home for the holidays had actually traveled back for the party. The nine students who had decided to spend the holidays that the school had arrived as well. The catering came, and all the food was ready. Drinks were being poured. Christmas songs were being played. Friendly laughter and chatter could be heard all around.

Greeting the students and some of their friends and family who they decided to bring along was fun, especially seeing some of them had brought their little brothers and sisters to meet Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose in person. They had taken quite a few pictures with them. Talked pleasantries with their guests. Seth found himself in a chat with one of his student’s dad’s who wanted to learn exactly how the school operated seeing as his other son wanted to follow in his big brother footsteps.

In the middle of the conversation, Seth couldn’t help but noticed Dean sort of just standing to the sidelines. People were flocking towards him for pictures and autographs, but the more of them came he kind of just stuck to leaning against the far off wall getting out of other’s way. The younger wrestler was tempted to cut the conversation short to check on his friend. Fortunately, Holly seemed to have seen the same thing and approached Dean offering him a plate to eat. It was comically sweet seeing a 5’3, 50 year old woman seemingly protect the 6’4, 225 lbs. man from his all-too-friendly public. Seth breathed a sigh of relief as he watched Dean take the plate and went off to eat somewhere further away from the crowd.

Dean was not exactly the party animal the public thought he was, at least not anymore. Seth was indies around the same time as Dean and he had heard the stories about him. He heard of drunken debaucheries from Ohio all the way up to the east coast. He heard of his drug use during his time in Puerto Rico. He heard Dean as Jon Moxley almost like a myth, the general people not really knowing how to deal with him and his ways. The crowd ate it up.

Nowadays, Dean was calmer. He knew how to have a good time but knew how to keep it to people he trusted. He knew how to get along with tons of people, but also had a damn good bullshit meter that could sort out those who were genuinely interested in him and those who wanted something from him. He had given up the drug use, for that Seth was sure and was thankful for. He had lessened the drinking considerably. Dean was calmer and was taking better care of himself, instead of having absolutely no regard for his body. But after all that, Dean Ambrose was not anyone you would consider a wall flower.

With a sudden halt to the Christmas music, the familiar warm and maternal voice rang through the café.

“Hello everybody and Merry Christmas” Holly greeted, which was met with applause and a couple of toasts from the crowd. “As all of you know this is the first ever Black and Brave Wrestling Academy Christmas Party. This is a time for everyone involved in the school to come together to celebrate and give thanks to what this first year has brought us… Honestly, if anyone had ever told me 30 years ago that I would be helping run my son’s wrestling school I would never have believed you.” The crowd laughed and applauded appreciatively for their adopted mother. “-But if I did give the news a chance and believed you than I would not have any doubt that the son who would be hardworking enough, determined enough, and passionate enough to be able to build that would be my son, Seth Rollins.” She ended her little speech by pointing out Seth and motioned for him to come up on the platform to say a few words.

“Thanks mom,” he said with a small kiss on her cheek. “Merry Christmas everyone. First of all I’d just like to thank each and every one of you who came down here. It has been a very eventful couple of months for us. Building this school had been a dream of mine for many years. I wish I could say I had been dreaming of it 30 years ago, but that just wouldn’t be true… The truth many of the things I have done were never planned outright. I had dreams but targets like the school, and this café, and the achievement’s I’ve garnered over the years were mainly me just taking as many opportunities I can take and doing the best I could with them, and I have been blessed.” The drop in Seth’s voice was noticeable and had a couple of his students cheer him on to continue.

“But as much as I am blessed by all of these things, the biggest blessings I have in my life would be them.” Seth then pointed out to his family who were standing by the sidelines. “I would have nothing without any of you. Absolutely nothing without your love and support and understanding. You made my dreams your dreams. You made my efforts to be yours as well. You’ve patiently waited for me on this crazy journey and went ahead and walked down this difficult path with me. For that I am always so grateful…” Seth voice cracked then took a deep breath before composing himself to continue. “Mom and Dad, thank you for everything.”

Seth then raised his glass in the air. “To my family; both blood-” he motioned towards his family. “And not-” he had moved to gesture towards where he had last seen Dean but only saw the seat he left behind. But before his confusion could be noticed he turned his glass towards the crowd and recovered. “-thank you everyone, enjoy the rest of your night.” He along the rest of the people took a sip of their drinks.

While the crowd had smiled and moved to give each other hugs or went back about to their business, Seth couldn’t help himself but frown as he stepped of the platform. He was greeted by his smiling parents. His mom giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. His dad giving him an encouraging pat on the back. Both his siblings giving him hugs, Brandon teasing him for almost crying in front of everyone. It was a happy moment for him, but something held him back.

“Had anyone seen Dean?” he asked, doing his best to keep his worry at bay.

“He was just-” Dd had turned to where the other wrestler had sat earlier, only to see what Seth had seen from the platform. “He was just here.”

“I hadn’t seen him leave.” Hector reassured his son.

“Wherever he is I’m sure he’s alright.” Brandon offered.

“I know where he went.” A familiar young voice had spoken up.

Seth had turned and was greeted by the face of Jesse, one of the students from the academy. He looked a little different with the swept back hair and glasses, but still easily recognizable.

“I ran into him when I was going out of the bathroom.” He explained. “I think he went out back onto the deck.”

Seth gave a slight smile for a thank you before he had made his way to where the young man was pointing. One of the features Seth was looking forward to regarding the coffeeshop was a nice outdoor deck overlooking the river. From there you were able to see the school and even a glimpse of his home on the other side. He had opened the back door and was unpleasantly greeted by the December cold.

Just as he was about to close the door again, he had spotted a glimpse of the man he was looking for. He was standing leaning against the railing eyes towards the freezing cold river. He had nothing else on except for his shirt and jeans. The sight made Seth turn back around to put on his coat and grab Dean’s as well. Before he went ahead and opened the back door again, Seth found himself trying to calm himself down, like he was psyching himself out before a big leap. Why exactly he felt the need to do that he wasn’t sure, but it made opening that door a little bit easier for him.

He quietly approached the other man. His back hardly even shivered under the harsh cold. For a split second he feared getting the other man’s coat for him was not something he might have wanted. But that second passed and Seth didn’t care whether Dean would take it or not, he was going to put on his damn coat.

“Hey,” he called out. The other man slowly turned towards him. “You forgot this.” He raised his coat open and without telling him putting it over his broad shoulders. Thankfully the other man had wordlessly slipped it on, like it was a forgotten after thought.

Seth copied Dean’s position; facing towards the river and his arms crossed on the railings. Neither man looking at the other in the eye, but a silent acknowledgement was there. It felt like how they were in the ring. Even if they didn’t have a clear view of each other, they seemed to know exactly where the other one was.

“They really liked the Christmas tree out there.” Seth pointed out, thankfully made the other man smile.

“I’m guessing you haven’t spotted that one ornament with that baby picture of you butt naked on your living room carpet.” He answered.

“What?!?!” he Seth was sorely tempted to run back inside only to look for that offending decoration but was stopped by his friends laughter. After an exasperated sigh Seth turned back towards the other man and sarcastically said; “Haha, very funny Ambrose.” When his words only garnered a shrugged from the older man Seth felt the need to ask again. “You’re only joking right?”

“Nope,” he answered with that ‘p’ sound popping from his lips. “But it doesn’t have your name on it, so maybe you could get away with saying it’s actually Brandon.”

“How do you know it wasn’t?” the Armenian countered.

“I’d recognize that pale ass anywhere.” He joked with a giant grin on his face.

“That's disturbing,” he replied and his best to look serious but when he saw Dean’s face trying to hold back his laughter, Seth himself lost it.

The laughter died down and the cold didn’t seem to bother Seth as much as it did minutes ago. A comfortable blanket of silence fell over them. It was easy to just be quiet with Dean, but Seth knew he couldn’t have it easy. Not now.

"Seriously though, they loved the Christmas tree, mom especially." he nudged the older wrestler with his shoulder.

"It was nothing." he answered with a small smile. "It was kinda nice. Hadn't put up a Christmas Tree like that like ever." 

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"We weren't that big on Christmas growing up. Dad was out of state. Mom was working nights. My sister tried to cook for us two, but we never saw the point of having a tree without presents. So, we just never had it." he explained simply. Seth feeling sad for younger version of Dean having to go through that, but oddly happy to have him finally open up to him. 

Maybe it would be a mistake, but Dean gave him an in so Seth decided to take the leap.

“That why you left?” he asked cautiously.

Dean sighed but then shook his head. “You were having your thing with your family and your kids… I don’t know… just didn’t feel right to be there.”

“Dean, you’re a part of this too…” Seth reassured him, which only made the other man laugh but with no humor.

“I’m really not… I mean this is the very first time I’ve ever been here. I’m basically just passing through.” He pointed out with another noncommittal shrug.

The thought of Dean thinking that he was some sort of drifter in Seth’s home made his heart ache.

“Dean, none of this would have been possible without you.” Seth reassured the other man, who again laughed humorlessly. “I’m serious… You think I would have gotten as far as I had and as fast as I had without your help? Dean, before you came to FCW I was more than ready to jump ship off to TNA. I felt like the only indie shmuck out there in the sea of baby oiled body builders and football players.” That finally got the other man to smile. “Then when we got the call for The Shield… I couldn’t have asked for any better partners than you and Ro. Like I don’t think that would have gotten as far as it did with anyone else. Then when we had to break do I need to remind you who gave me my push?” he asked.

The rhetorical question making the other man pause remembering what happened that night almost 5 years ago.

_*flashback*_

_They had just come from a successful night from Payback 2014. All three were riding high entering the arena for Monday Night Raw until they were called to the office. There in Vince McMahon’s office, barely an hour before the show started, they were informed that The Shield was to disband that night. It was a complete shock to the three of them and the urge to object died on their lips once Vince had said it was non-negotiable._

_All three sat there in disbelief as Vince, Hunter, and Stephanie as well as some people from creative were there to explain what exactly was going to happen tonight. They shared their plan to have Dean Ambrose, being the most experienced and seemingly the leader of the group, to betray the group by landing a couple of chair shots on both Roman and Seth from behind._

_It was the middle of this meeting when Dean was bold enough to actually speak up._

_“No,” Dean said, his face expressing his deep thought._

_“What do you mean no?” Hunter asked angrily, “You heard what Vince had said, this is non-negotiable.”_

_“No,” Dean repeated. His boldness making Seth’s hair stand on end. “Not about the break… but about me.” He added which got confused reactions from everyone else in the room. Dean then leaned forward as if he was about to share some secret with the room. “I can’t turn heel…” he spoke as if he were pointing out the obvious because; “It would be too fucking obvious.”_

_That caused the people in the room to raise their brows in surprise. Roman even turning his chair to look at his best friend in the eye like he was crazy. Seth just looking on wanting to listen to other any other alternatives at this point._

_“Don’t you see?” Dean asked the room before he stood up to make his point. “I’m already the heel of the group. For those who knew Moxley then they’d know how much of an asshole I was and expect it. For those who’d only known me as Ambrose everyone knew how much of an asshole I’d been in this group…” he proceeded to remind them of what has transpired over the last couple of months. “I’m unstable. I’m a lunatic. I’m a loudmouth, power hungry, asshole… of course I’d turn heel.” He pointed out almost sounding like he was ready to agree with them only to turn a sharp left. “Which is why I can’t, it’s too easy.” He added as he crossed his arms and casually leaned against the conference room tables, like he wasn't making a multi-million dollar company move to his whim. Everyone else quieted down not knowing what to do with Dean’s information._

_“So…” Hunter was the one to break the silence. “What do you propose?”_

_Dean took a thoughtful look around the room. Suspiciously eyeing his bosses and the companies creative team. His eyes only somewhat softening when they fell on Roman and Seth. His sight shifting from one to the other. His eyes having a intensity that made the other two shiver in their seats.The gears in his head moving with unspoken ideas._

_“Seth should do it.” He finally answered after a long pause._

_“What?!” the rest of the room exclaimed, along with Seth himself. Roman just sitting there in shock at the words he was hearing._

_“He’s the one that makes the most sense.” Dean continued, “I can’t do it because it’s basically what everyone already expects. Roman can’t do it coz, let’s admit it, you’re pushing him for the face of this company and we can’t have him turn heel,” he directed to Vince accusingly._

_“Seth,” Dean sat down and moved his chair closer to him as if he was imparting important wisdom. “You’re the quiet, evil mastermind. Of course you’d be the first to betray us. You’re whole character had been building us up to break down everything in our path. You’ve been put up as the brains of the operation… it wouldn’t make sense for you to not see me turn on you. What makes sense is you turning on us… I mean… no one would ever believe it. No one would ever believe that you could do that to us. It would fucking shock the world.”_

_Seth just sat there listening to Dean’s words. Words that were soft enough to touch him but almost sharp enough to hurt. Deep down he knew Dean was making sense, but the thought of it scared the crap out of him. Could he really?_

_“Dean, You do know what you’re suggesting here, don’t you?” Hunter again broke the silence, his question only met a casual shrug of agreement from the wrestler. “You are suggesting that we redirect a push tailor made for you to someone else entirely. You are throwing away an opportunity to make the biggest noise in the company to date; to cause the break in The Shield.  Do you have any idea what you’re giving up?” Hunter asked him as if he were truly a lunatic and not just a character he played._

_“If I did it, then I’d be wasting the biggest push the company could ever give on a shitty outcome anyone could have easily seen from a mile away. I’m not throwing the opportunity away, I’m trying to make it stick.” He explained. “And it will… if you have Seth do it.” Dean pointed to Seth like he was the answer to every question._

_Another tense and pregnant pause fell over the room. The team not knowing exactly what to do. Whispers going back and forth from writers, angrily blaming each other for not thinking this shit through. The silence was finally broken, but not by Hunter._

_“I like it.” Vince finally spoke with a clap. “Be ready by 8.” He instructed everyone. “And you!” he pointed to Seth alone. “Don’t screw up.” he warned before motioning for everyone else to leave his office._

_Once outside and away form earshot Seth grabbed Dean by the arm and made him turn towards him._

_“Dean, what the fuck were you thinking?” Seth asked without waiting for an answer. “You just threw away your shot.” Which again only made the other man shrug and purse his lips like it was nothing. “Is this a joke to you?” he finally asked angrily._

_Roman was about to step in to calm the situation down but was stopped by Dean’s hand to his chest silently telling the other man that he could handle this._

_“Seth, there is no other way to do this.” He answered plainly. “As much as I hate it. It’s best to end on the top. No one will see it coming… and definitely no one will see it coming from you of all people. Like I said, nobody is ever gonna think you could betray us.” he added with a comforting hand to Seth’s shoulder._

_“But your shot.” Seth repeated._

_“I’ll get another one.” He again shrugged it off, but Seth finally saw how genuine it actually was._

_“Are you sure?” he asked again, knowing full well that when Dean Ambrose wrapped his mind around something it would take heaven and hell to pry it out of his grasp._

_Dean only smiled softly at him and spoke “Like I said before-” He then leaned in close to whisper something in his ear “You’re the only one worth fighting around here.” He added his smile growing big and as he clapped the man on his back right before he had made his way to their locker room_

_***_

That was 5 years ago, but the memory was still fresh in Seth’s mind. The generosity Dean had showed him all those year ago. The skill. The experience. All of it. Dean was like no other. Like had had said earlier in his little speech, he would like to think he had gotten this far this fast by himself, but being honest with himself he would never have gotten this far without Dean.

“You changed my life Dean…” he said.

“Seth, you are incredible. You’re talented. You’re hard working. You’ve taken every obstacle that’s ever faced you and threw it out of the way.” He pointed out. “You could have easily gotten here without me. No problem.” He spoke with a certainty that was almost as frigid as the cold.

Seth looked at the man standing in front of him. His voice rougher than usual. His eyes droopier than they normally were. His body slouched over a bit more than before. This was not Dean, not him completely. Dean was tired, Seth couldn't believe he never noticed it before.

“What happened to you?” he asked out of nowhere, his question making the older man stop and stare at him in confusion. “What made you come here Dean?” he asked more clearly this time. The question only making the other man turn away not being able to look at him in the eye.

“You have been running around all over the place since you got here. Never stopping. When you weren’t helping me, you were helping mom cook. When you weren’t doing that you were heading to the hardware store for something for my dad. When you weren’t doing that you were going off shopping with Dd. Then fixing this place up, cleaning with Brandon and putting up the tree in the middle of the café. Then before all this you had driven more than 12 hours straight just to get here after you had just landed at home in Vegas…” all the worries and fears Seth had been feeling for his friend over the past couple of days finally spilling out of him in torrents. The dam of social niceties finally breaking from the deep need to know what was going on with his friend. "What made you run?"

When Dean still refused to look at him in the eye, Seth raised both his hand in defeat not knowing what else to do and started to walk backwards to leave the other man to retreat shamefully back inside.

“I got robbed!” he finally exclaimed, causing Seth to stop in his tracks and turn back towards him more confused with the answer than he should.

“I got robbed.” Dean repeated defeatedly, with something else sounding very foreign for him that Seth couldn’t pin. “I got back thinking I’d come home to my house in the desert and my girlfriend waiting for me.” He explained. “Instead, my house was ransacked. My TV, refrigerator, and microwave gone. My furniture just also gone. The only things left was my bed, some clothes, in the few memorabilia I had kept from before.”

From everything Seth was expecting to hear, this was nowhere near to it. He stood there next to him, watching him as he spoke his frustrations to the night air, not able to look at Seth directly. That’s when Seth realized that unfamiliar hitch in Dean’s voice was something he never really heard before; shame.

“Why I drove all the way out of here? I don’t really know. God knows it’s not the first time I’ve ever been robbed. Just the first time I had stuff truly worth robbing.” He bitterly laughed at his own joke. “I was only supposed to drive to the police station to make a report. That was it. But the second I got back in my car after that, the thought of going back to my sad and empty house just fucking broke me. I couldn’t. So I turned the other way and drove as far as I could. I didn't care where.”

“For most of the drive I was trying to convince myself that it was a misunderstanding.” He began to talk with his hands, wildly gesturing the way he usually would when high on emotions. “I was willing to believe it was anything; a biker gang, a cult, damn aliens, but it wasn't. I reached Nebraska when the cops called back.” He paused to look down sadly and made a fist angrily, swallowing the urge to hit something. “They found Melanie trying to pawn my stuff along the strip, with her husband.”

 _‘That bitch!’_ was what Seth wanted to say but bit his tongue, not wanting to stop the other man from finally spilling everything he had been hiding.

“My so called girlfriend and her husband, had been forking my shit all over town since I left.” He added. “I fucking gave her the keys to my place. I practically fucking invited her to rob me, like a dumbass.”

Again, Seth had wanted to say something, hating the self-loathing coming from the other man, but controlled himself until he needed to.

“I don’t even know anymore what I’m bitching about.” Dean said frustratingly. “Like I said, it’s not like it’s the first time I was ever robbed. It’s not like it’s the first time some girl just ended up using me and tossing me aside. It’s not like it’s the first time I came home to an empty house.” His voice sounding so defeated.

Dear God, Seth wanted to say something.

“I just thought it would be different, you know?” he asked rhetorically. “All those times before. In a different life. I had just accepted it all making up excuses; I was robbed because I lived in a shitty neighborhood with people low enough to trade their grandma for weed and coke. I was used coz maybe even though they told me they liked how tall I was, and how blue my eyes were, or how deep my dimples were. I was still trailer trash to them, maybe good for a good time but not for anything more. I was betrayed coz let’s be honest who would stick around with a coked up junkie teenager who was obsessed with professional wrestling.” He spoke about himself with such hate. “I mean the drugs were bad enough, but have me be a dumbass only good at fighting and getting hit, how the fuck was anyone ever supposed to stick to that.”

Seth’s heart was aching for him. He wrung his hands constantly like he physically had to stop himself from speaking.

“Then it all started to come around.” He finally started to speak with an inkling of hope in his voice. “Got signed to WWE. Got put in a stable with you and Roman. Getting the matches and screen time anyone in their right mind would fucking dream of. Like I had finally made it.” He spoke with a sad smile. “And yet, shit like this still happens.”

“This happening to me again and again; even outside Cincinnati, even after getting clean and mostly sober, even with the job, even with the fancy house, and the six figure salary. Even after all that, and this shit still happens.” He seemed to be at a lost for words, fearing what he was thinking of saying next. “It gets a guy thinking you know; Maybe it wasn’t the neighborhood. Maybe it wasn’t the drugs. Maybe it wasn’t the local skanks I had blamed. Maybe it wasn’t the job or the paycheck. Maybe it wasn’t the lack of success, nor fame, nor common sense that did me in.”

“Maybe it was just me…” heartbroken voice just aching out of him. “Maybe I’m the fuck up. Maybe, just maybe… I was just never supposed to have anything good in my life for myself.”

 _‘That’s not true,’_ Seth wanted to say.

“Maybe I’m just destined to be a sad and lonely fucker who dies alone in the middle of the desert.” He spoke with such sad resignation.

“No,” Seth finally spoke. He stood right next to him until their sides met.

Seth’s warm hand reaching down to find Dean’s and intertwining them in a strong grip he did not want to let go. Dean’s eyes turned as he followed the sight of their hands clasped, his face growing in confusion. Questions dying on his lips once Seth put his free hand against Dean’s winter bitten cheek, feeling even warmer against his cold skin.

Seth just couldn’t listen to another word. Not one more hateful comment Dean could make about himself. All the other words Seth had wanted to say died out once he came face to face with him. It was then he had realized no words would ever be good enough to tell him what he felt.

He inched closer and closer until their noses met. Seth's hot breath against his lips. Just as Dean was finding the words to ask, Seth answered before they could leave his mouth. His lips sealing them from ever being uttered. Soft and chapped and a little dry, but Seth could honestly say he’d never had a kiss meant so much to him. He wanted to drown all the words he had said just now; every hateful and angry word towards himself, and replace them with nothing but good. He wanted to pour every ounce of comfort, and care, and warmth, and good, just plain and simple good in this kiss.

A simple tentative touch of the lips slowly grew. Every turn of Seth’s head towards him wanting to taste him deeper. His mouth opening for him wanting Dean to fill his mouth with whatever good could muster out of himself, wanting to prove it had always been there. Their beards causing a delicious friction to grow between them. Their tongues practically feeding each other muffled moans. Dean tasted like mint and wine and warmth, Seth never knew and never wanted to stop. He had let go of his hand but only to have his hand wrapped around the nape of neck. His fingers meeting soft curls. Winter be damned. He didn’t wanted to let Dean go. Never.

It was Dean who let go.

Seth felt a soft push against his shoulders. It was so sudden, Seth’s lips were still puckered and wet from the kiss when he was forced to make space between them. His eyes slowly opening. Warm and worried brown met confused and concerned blue.

“Seth, what was that?” he asked, voice on the edge of conflicting emotions.

“I-” Seth lost his words in all his thoughts. His hand that was still wrapped around Dean’s neck were also being pushed away. “I-”

“Seth, what-” Dean struggled with his words as if they were also lost I the confusion. Stepping away from him. “Why did you kiss me?”

“I…” he started to answer but couldn’t find the words. He couldn’t find the exact words.

“Seth?” Dean asked once more.

“I just-” Seth started. “I couldn’t- I couldn’t let you…” Dean’s face growing even more confused. “I couldn’t listen to you talk like that anymore.” He said sadly.

The way Dean’s face dropped, he knew those were not the words he had wanted to hear.

“So, I say some sob story and now you’re all over me?” Dean’s voice growing in anger coming from somewhere Seth didn’t know.

“No, Dean…” he tried to reach out to him but was only brushed off.

“So what is it then?” Dean asked. “What changed?”

“I-” Seth again having difficulty finding the words. “I don’t know…”

Dean’s face falling even further; from confusion, to anger, to sadness. “You don’t know?”

“I don’t…” Seth tried to speak.

“You don’t know?” he asked. “You really don’t know?” Seth could only sadly shake his head, not knowing what the other man wanted to hear. “Coz something must have changed…” he added.

“What do you mean?” he asked back.

“I mean, you’ve never wanted to kiss me ever before.” He pointed out. “Now suddenly you do? Just like that, out of the blue? No reason why? What?”

“Why does there have to be a reason why?” Seth asked desperately.

“Coz I’ve been in love with you for 8 years!” he finally confessed. “You have never wanted to kiss me. You had never even looked at me twice.”

Seth froze. The chill of the winter night seemed to have seeped into his bones along with the desperate confessions of the man in front of him.

“I was never an option to you. I was never anyone like that to you before. Like ever.” His voice defeated and confused. “I was just crazy Dean with the jokes and the stories and the flirting and a good time. That's all I was. I was never… I mean, you never took me seriously before. You never wanted me before. You never could. Why would you?”

 _‘Was that how Dean really saw himself in Seth’s eyes?’_ Seth was desperate to pull Dean in an show him how wrong he was.

But again Dean pushed him away.

Before Seth could try and reached for him again, Dean turned towards the back door opening letting the warm glow of the inside out. There stood Holly with hugging herself tightly as she called the boys inside before the cold got worse.

Seth couldn’t care less about the cold.

But Dean took the opportunity and ran out. Seth went and followed him. Through the crowd, Dean seemed to just blend in as he gently pushed people aside with a couple of quick ‘excuse me’ and muffled ‘sorry’. Somehow blocking Seth’s own way through the crowd to catch him.

It was when a fan tried to pull him for a photo when Seth saw Dean’s quickly retreating form go out of the front door.

Seth as quickly but as gently as he could got through the rest of the crowd to go out the same door needing to catch up to him. But once he got outside in the cold winter night in the middle of the intersection in front of the café, Seth had no idea where Dean had ran off to.

His dream and his nightmare coming true all in one night.

 _‘Dean was in love with him.’_ The realization ran through his head unbelievably. _‘Dean has been in love with him for 8 years.’_ How had he never seen it. Suddenly, a flood of all their times together in the past came rushing through him. Every late night talk. Every day off spent together. Every fight. Every drive. Every disagreement. Every day. Every night. Every word.

Dean had always been there to give him everything, and he never noticed.

How could he have never noticed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait... this one ended up pretty sad an i needed to be in the right mindset for it.  
> like i've said before i'm planning this as the 2nd to the last chapter ending in chapter 9 and epilogue in chapter 10  
> any comment will be much appreciated i'm always looking forwards to learning as much as i can


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